"You see, this hoe was leaning against the door frame."
"A hoe? Leaning against the door frame?"
What'd this hoe look like, anyway?"
"Looked just like any other hoe. Tall and thin and painted red."
"A painted red hoe?"
"Yes. Why do you care about looks? Sheesh, a hoe is a hoe is a hoe!" "Now you've got me sounding like an advertisement for Miss Debbie's Ho-Hos!"
"Well, I've always liked a good Ho-Ho."
"Good lands. Anyway, Spencer sure got knocked for a loop!"
"The hoe looped him?"
"NO! No, silly. He got knocked for a loop. The hoe smacked him in the face!
I felt sorry for him, it looked painful."
"Why was his mom watching him get smacked in the face by a hoe?"
"Golly gee, Ollie." I don't know, maybe because I was there for the whole thing!"
"Why was the hoe there in the first place?"
"It was my fault. Sort of. I'd put the hoe there."
"YOU did?"
"I did."
"The grand-baby had been playing in the dirt with the hoe and it didn't look right; didn't look safe."
"Of course! Babies should never play with hoes! Or rakes!"
"You've got that right. I'd been chasing voles with the hoe and filling holes with dirt and forgot what I was about and next thing you know, the grand-baby comes for a visit, and starts digging in the dirt with my hoe. Guess she liked the red looks. So it was my fault that Spencer got the hoe in the face thing."
"Did ya laugh?"
"Laugh? No, I didn't laugh. He was holding his face with both hands and leaning his elbows on his knees trying to recover when I realized he had a nosebleed. It was just like in the comic strips. Remember Garfield? Jon avoids the first hoe, turns around and there's a second hoe. POW! Right in the kisser!"
"Yep. That was a two-fer!"
"Spencer runs right out of the house, right into the dark of night, steps on a hoe and POW! Right in the kisser!"
"I know, I know, just like Ralph from the Honeymooners, "POW! Right in the kisser!"
"There's a lesson here."
"Oh, really, and what lesson would that be?"
"No matter whether they're digging in the dirt or leaning against your front door, don't let your babies play with hoes."
