Decapitation - Here's the Line - Lilly, Jacob, Jayden

 He was lying limply on the ground, with his shoulders against the big maple tree.  Decapitated.  No longer swinging by a rope from the leafy branch.

I asked Miss Lilly, "How'd skeley get a severed head?"

Jacob gave a couple of hearty swings with his yard stick, proof of action.

Lilly answered, "We were too strong with our magical powers."  

***

Later, up on the deck, Jayden told his cousins, "See this line?

And see this line and this line?" as he drew his finger up and down and across his abs.  ABS?! Shoot, he's only ten.  But he's explaining to his playmates ... 

"I have a 6 pack!"

"WE DIDN'T DO A THING!" NOT!

 "We didn't do a thing!"  NOT!

No one ever asked, "What did you do today?"  

But I'll tell YOU.   "Seriously," it was "awesomesauce".

There was Totoro coloring pages, for one.  I'm so old I used to color Raggedy Ann and Barbie doll pictures, you dig?  It was hip!  

My boys colored Power Rangers and Pokemon, they were phat and bad!  Cool beans!

Then the grandkids came along and it was "Print Baby Shark!"  No more coloring books, use the computer to select an image, then print.  They learned fast.  It was slay and it was extra, chuckle.

I'd just gotten used to Bluey and Paw Patrol when the oldest asked for Totoro!  "Totoro?  What's a Totoro?"

Whatever it is, it's not savage but it still might be cool.  So, I went internet searching.

"Totoro is a massive cuddley creature befriended by two sisters that moved into a new house."

So, GrammyPam prints off coloring pages of Totoro.

This was after we'd been to church for some prepping for upcoming pitch-in dinner day where the grandkids played legos, the organ, and pretend library.  

Once home we ALL played army with little green men.  

Miss Lilly's commentary on Jacob's battle plan, "His way is usually "He has to win".  If he loses, he cries.  I tried it."

I laughed at the "I tried it."  LOL.

Lunch time rolled around, they didn't like my food choices.  

Jacob was firm, "You know what you do for me... You feed me spaghetti.  I'm a spaghetti boy!  You feed me spaghetti everyday!"

Well, you can blame Papaw John, he started it.  But I laughed at Jacob's tone of voice and choice of words,  LOL.

Later, snack time, Jacob says "I want a sausage." 

I suggested 1, 2, 3, 4, different items instead; I was thinking they probably needed a fruit.  

He's quick.  Not gonna pull the wool over his eyes, "Did we forget our sausage?"

At Dollar General on the way home from church I bought a wooden skeleton that had movable arms.  It inspired Lilly to get the broom out,  "Fly, broom!  I'm a witch."  And I look over the pony wall.

"I'm sorry, GrammyPam, I can't fly.  I forgot how to fly."

I laughed at the "I forgot" as if she used to know.  LOL.

The day was filled with trying to trap kitty.  Swinging.  Pulling out the garden hose which "rained" on each other.  They tried to catch a butterfly, actually, she caught several.  We put sticks in a bucket, and mid-afternoon they watched cartoons.  Then it was back to the garden hose and turning the dirt mound overcome with weeds into a dirt mound again, like it was supposed to be. 

I dug.  He yanked.  I chopped at the roots.  Jacob heaved weeds with dirt ball into the trash tote.

"GrammyPam, I'm sta-wrong!"

"Yes, you are.  Quite the helper."

I'm gassing up Labor Day.  Totally worth while, totally!

Sparrows & Me Verses Cicadas!

I need a lie detector!  I need a bug exorcist!

Cicadas appear every August.  Someone said they only come every 17 years.  NOT!  They come every year!  

They love the 70 foot maple tree in the front yard.  It was a sapling we transferred here from our first house in Elwood.  Now, it's 9 ft. in diameter and a story taller than our 2 story house!  

Those chunky many-colored cicadas get so loud in the afternoon that I have to shut the screen and sliding glass door.  No enjoying the great outdoors with a good book, or a cup of coffee.  As the saying goes, "You can't even hear yourself think!"

"It's an incessant cadence of high-pitched, shrill sounds," says Purdue University website, and boy, ain't it the truth.

Sometimes, in frustration, I scream back at them, LOL.  Can't you just see a 70 y.o. woman on her front deck, face upwards, yelling at insects that haven't got a brain.  (Don't say it!  No, don't you say it!  Don't you dare say anything about my brain!)

Curious, I went online searching for cicada predators and other ways to deal with their mind-altering noise.

Come to find out they are disturbed by changes in light and movement, and that "playing the sounds of sparrows, which are natural predators, might cause them to temporarily become quiet or relocate."  Yay!  A possible solution!

Song birds are hesitant to hang around here due to the resident feline, Ruger.  But I got an idea.  Yep.  I did.  Youtube.com had many selections of sparrow songs and calls.  LIVE!  Yay!  Some for 3 minutes, some for 9 minutes, and even one for 10 hours.  Another, yay!

Now, how to do it.  

So, I set this up.  Open laptop, select video, set on picnic table, hit start, sit back, observe.

  Lo and behold, 3 things happened!

Strange birds, as in I hadn't heard them in a long-long time, came to the treetop and added to the orchestra, tweet-tweet-tweet!  Chirp-chirp.  Coo-oo-Coo-oo.

The cicadas stopped their raucous.

Ruger cat came around - investigating.  First, meandering around the deck.  Then curling the table legs.  Jumping up onto the bench, and then the tabletop.  Finally, she sat down right next to the computer on the picnic table.  I wasn't fast enough to take that picture but you can imagine.  She just sat there, head slowly turning left and right, eyes scanning-scanning, and her little butt butted up to the side of my Mac laptop.

There was a feast to be had.  She thought a sumptuous meal was forthcoming.  Ruger was pouncy-ready. 

Hey, listen!  Did you hear that?  Did you hear what I said?  The cicadas stopped their raucous! 

I win!

Sparrows & Me verses Cicadas - I WIN!  Whoo-hoo!

Where's that coffee and my book?  Scanning-scanning ...

A Sunday Double - Jayden Animals & Grandkids Key

 

Four Grandkids Trying Keys, Blue Girl Bent Down Sorting Keys

JAYDEN ANIMALS

On the way to church, I had Jayden and Noelle in the backseat riding with me.  Jayden is only 10 but he always engages adults in talk.  I would suppose it's because he's the oldest and has always been treated older than he is.  New parents do that, we all know.

Anyway, from the backseat as we're driving up State Road 37, he brings up a big subject.  He states, "Animals are dangerous to us."

He says it very fast speaking, all knowing, and extremely confident.

So, I give him something to think about, "We're dangerous to animals because we eat them."

Okay, he's down with that, he says, "My favorite is pig."

He doesn't say pork loins or bacon, he says pig which makes me smile.  I'm silently thinking, "Yah, and your dad looks at cows walking by and thinks "STEAK!"  His dad told me that years and years ago.

Sitting next to Jayden, his younger sister, Noelle, can't be left out, she chimes in, adding her 2 cents worth, "Yah, and I love elephant ears!"

GRANDKIDS KEYS

The grandkids discovered my garage sale I had set up, and they wanted things.  Since it was getting closer to the time their parents should arrive, we struck a deal.  They would clean up a room or a particular mess, or outside picnic table and toys, and I would give them 25 cents or 50 cents according to the job.  They earned dollars.  One earned $2.  

They were then welcome to purchase things from my sale.  It worked out pretty well until, especially the little ones, they made a mess in the garage.  Tumbled down linens, toys chosen and discarded, and items displaced, so I locked the door.  They were done anyway, having already spent their money, LOL. 

 

Right before the parents decided "It's time to go" they asked if they could have a sucker.  Sure.  Why not.  And I should say here, that I keep them in the freezer and they know EXACTLY where they're at - - in the garage in the freezer.

"But, GrammyPam, the door is locked."

"Go find the key and unlock it."

That became a mystery, a puzzle, a challenge.  They began using my stash of keys to see if they could unlock it.  They tried keys to the back door, plastic toy keys, keys to a child's dollhouse, keys to the skid steer, and the key to the barn.  But they never did see the keys hanging on the pantry door.

After letting them try this key and that, and after much discussion and cooperation on their parts, I intervened.  You have to intervene before frustration gets too high or it escalates.

I walked in there, reached up, and jangled them down.  They all stood there gobsmacked with their little mouths open, and utterances of surprise.  

The adults just sat back watching and laughing.  Once the door was unlocked, It was an onslaught down those steps to open that white chest to the sweet prizes!

Those kids are something else!  They sure love suckers! 

Hee, hee, hee, and so do I!

Walking in Son-light / Jacob on a Walk

"GOOD MORNNG!  Walking in Son-light!"

 

Miss Lilly and Master Jacob, the grandkids, were here for most of Saturday from noon to night.  We did fun things like drawing monsters, and voting on our favorites.  Then playing army men who got grenaded and tank-turret-gun shot with casualties piled in the middle.  Dollhouses with tea sets were set up and filled up and laid out for everyone to sip.  

But my favorite was little Jacob discovering I was walking to the mailbox.  She and he were watching a kids movie and I thought they were occupied when I told them what I was doing.  Halfway down the long curved drive, I turn back to a little squeaky voice, imploring, "I wanna come, GrammyPam."  

 

And there he is trying his best to catch up to me without shoes.  The preschooler was navigating the gravel driveway one cautious step at a time.  He was gingerly stepping with hands slightly outstretched for balance.  I weighed the pros and cons of waiting or not, how fast he could get to me, my patience, his determination, and decided to walk back to him, "Go get your shoes on, little buddy, I'll wait."

 

It was worth it.  He's at that great age to take a walk with -- spying things in the grass, raising his head to look for a barking dog, digging up "special" rocks from the drive, and picking up two sticks.

"This one is a sa-word!" he lunged the straighter one.

 

Once we got to the curb I had to caution him on the dangers of the county road.  And taught him never go past this point.

Like any 5 year old, he bounced both to and fro.

 

Later, the little booger went upstairs and discovered my stash of animated Christmas characters!  How'd he do that?  WHEN!  Not only that, he was able to reach up and GET THEM AND carry them downstairs while I was in the bathroom.  This pic only shows two, but he brought down all 5!  The little industrious imp!

His world is enlarging and he's getting bigger.

In the meantime, walks are great!

Jacob, Grandson, Sun

 

Jacob was using his favorite orange color drawing a sun.  Other dry erase markers were for the face and eyes, he was decisive.

At first, the eyes were vacant so I put in black orbs.  He immediately 

wiped them out with a fingertip.  

That was NOT the plan!  Red was.

Then he wanted to know how to make a nose.

Well, I don't draw.  I know a little, a very little, so I showed him a curved L.

He was happy.

His sun was happy, too.

Thinking this is a celestial being 

I made some planets and some stars overhead.

But, no!  That was just not right!

He informed me, sternly, this little preschooler, 

sitting under the crook of my arm,

"GrammyPam, there's no stars in the middle of the morning!"

*******

We went to lunch.

We went to Wendy's;

21 - kids and friends and parents.

Jacob and his cousin Noelle piled into my car

 and we headed out lickety-split.

To facilitate speed, on the way over I asked them their food choices.

They were the same - cheeseburger and apple slices and soda pop.

Somewhere, someone, I didn't catch who, 

gave Jacob a little tub of ketchup.

As he was sitting next to Noelle, they're the same age, 

I overheard him say, 

"Did you taste the ketchup?"  He talks so matter-of-factly, manly,

"You should,

    it tastes pretty good!"

He Ate His Twin!

HE  ATE  HIS  TWIN!

My oldest has 2 different colored eyes - a brown and a green.  When he was born they were both a gray color and as he grew to be a toddler his eyes changed into 2 different colors.  We didn't think too much of it, until...

Until he got married and cell phones and internet were the latest rage and the "information highway" stretched out before us.  His new wife looked it up.

Chimera - Chimerism can occur when a mom is pregnant with twins. If one embryo dies, the other one could possibly absorb its deceased twin's cells.

"In humans, a chimera is a person who has cells from two different sources. Since those cells are from different organisms, it results in two sets of DNA."  

"Not only can Chimera have split faces, but another noticeable characteristic is also their two different eye colors."

Ah, ha, grandma, on my mother's side of the family had a boundary line right down the center of her face!  One side was almost red.  She always wore makeup to make it blend!  It looks like Rusty has inherited chimeraism.

Then came the day he and wife adopted 2 children.

According to Rusty, "This morning, Jayden noticed I have one green eye and one brown.  He told me I need a new one." 

We laughed.

Later, they had more children, and Rusty, though he had pulled the trick on brothers and friends, he now used it on his own kids.  With his black rumpled hair, and curly beard, he'd squint one eye and in a gruff pirate voice declare, "I'm giving you the evil eye."

The mom in me asked, "And which eye is that?"

"Whichever I choose not to squint."  

I laughed.  He grinned.

Then last year, we were all in Home Depot at Christmas time.  They always have a grand display of lighted trees, characters bigger than humans, and blow ups of current Christmas movies players.  Rusty was walking behind his family.  Wife pushing cart with newest baby in the seat.  The little ones checking out the Grinch on wheels, and Nutcracker Suite hanging tree ornaments, and the blow up Minions.  

7 year old Alayna grabs my hand all excited, "GrammyPam, GrammyPam come see!"

"There's a minion that looks like daddy."  And we take off at a half run.

I'm thinking, "What makes him look like daddy?"  Rusty's not wearing coveralls, he's short, he does have a round belly but surely that's not what this little girl is referring to.  So I have to go see, I'm curious now.

"You have to see, GrammyPam.  Don't you know?  It's Bob."

"No, I don't know, I really don't know one minion from another."

"It's Bob," she says, "he's got two different colored eyes!"

And she smacks the inflated belly a good one! 

Now, that's a belly laugh!  

 

NO WAY! Ew! Gross!

   Sigh, my morning plans went out the window.

 

You won't guess why, not in a month of Sundays.....don't read the end, I'll give you time to guess.

 

WRONG!

I'll give you Hint #1, has to with a critter, can you guess?

 

WRONG!

Hint, #2 has to do with a critter outside that I carried inside, it's not the cat.  Wanna guess again?

You might've guessed from that clue, but if you didn't, you're 

WRONG!

It attached itself to me last night.  Remember, nephew mowed yesterday, and as we took a break at the picnic table, he spied a groundhog moseying along looking for worms and grubs and things chucked up from the mowing.  So, grass was fresh, tree branches were bumped around, burrows were hunted, and a trap put in the brushes.

I'm sure you've guessed by now!

 

I woke up with my ear hurting.  I thought I'd slept on it bent and folded.  Then thought I had a white head or pimple.  Kept scratching and it keep hurting in a wider area.  So I angled around, bent my body funny, adjusted 2 mirrors, and voila!  The answer.  I had a contented, I'm-gonna-stay-here, satiated tick!

 

NO WAY!  EW, GROSS!  A TICK!!!!!! 

My whole ear was red and a bit swollen, it had been feasting for awhile. 

I couldn't get it, so I called brother.  He said, "Let me get out my tick kit." 

Tick kit!  Never heard of such a thing, what is a TICK KIT?

 

I got dressed and pulled in his drive to find he'd laid it all out on the hood of his truck!  There laid the container, the tweezers, the single wipe, the papers - he had it all laid out complete with identifying tick pictures.

He plucked, I felt relief, he sanitized the ear, we checked the tick against the pic making sure the head came away, too, and, nope, it's not the kind that causes lyme disease.  Shew! "Another one bit the dust!"  Well....this one bit me!

 

He said, "You have a black spot, let's see."

"Hold your head this way.  Let me have a closer look."  He's wearing his reading glasses.

 "It's nothing.  It's just tick poop."  EW!  GROSS!   DISGUSTING!  Tick poop!  TICK POOP!!!!

He gave it a good couple swipes with the alcohol wipe.  Thank goodness.

 

The next morning my ear swelling in down, the bite is healing, and the bug poop is gone.  I'm sure you wanted to know, you wanted to know that that was all cleared up, didn't you?

 

ROFLMHO  ha, ha, ha, ha, ha........

It was bad enough I had a tick, only had 3 in my life, and not one in over 40 years, it was bad enough I had a tick, but to know he'd been there awhile, long enough to poop?  I'm still totally grossed out  - -

TICK POOP!  EW!

Walk The Pair Home

It's a thing.

Every morning I go around the house putting on my shoes.

Then I walk them home.

 

Some mornings it's only one pair.

Some mornings it's 2 or 3 pairs, they're here and they're there.

 

I put them on.

I take them off,

I don't like shoes.

Shoes never fit properly.

I take them off.

For years, starting in 4th grade with a professional, 

I've tried on all kinds of shoes and couldn't be satisfied, I don't like them.

I have a small ankle and a large ball, 

and my toes spread, and my instep is thick. 

I don't like them, not at all.

 So, I kick them off.

When I hit the door from an errand to town

off come the shoes, white, pink, or brown.

At the front door.

At the back door.

Under the table,

resting on the floor,

when reclining for television viewing,

when reading,

in church while everyone's praying

when driving.

I take them off here 

I take them off there, I take them off everywhere.

 

The next morning they're not where I can find them, 

not on the shoe rack for some reason, so, it's hunting season.

I go around the house putting on my shoes

(It would be best if I put them with the rest)

and I walk them home.

 

Tomorrow?   I will walk my shoes again.  Wonder if I'll find two or ten?

One of Us Is Going Night-Night

"Good Evening!"

 

I'm gonna report tonight because I don't know what the morning will bring.  I'm antsy to get the heck out of dodge!

 

So, yesterday I got out the 0 Turn and made a few laps around the barn.  I had the big idea I was gonna move gravel.

With that in mind I got out the skid steer next and practiced on the drive taking out the strip of green grass down the center.

  "Look!  I can grow here!"

They said I needed to check the oil, the gas, and the left front tire that kept losing air.  That meant I had to learn to operate the air compressor over the phone with Clint.  Durn but if it wouldn't shut off.  Called brother he said, (in the words of Gibbs on NCIS) "Unplug it!"  

 

Duh.  Where was my head.

 

Well, I wasn't so good at using the skid steer to take out the grass.  Kinda made a mess.  Realized my lack of proficiency.  Made a little attempt on the drive to the barn but got no where, so gave up.  No moving gravel for me.

 

Went to Wal-Mart, as you know, met a guy called DentWizard.  I'm sure it was a promotional move, but he got out his goop and a microfiber rag and began taking out all the black streaks, and bugs, and scratches on my new car, with my permission.  I'm ashamed to admit, I ran over a pilon that had a rebar in it.  Once he cleaned it, it didn't look so bad.

I also bought some rodent repellent while there, cuz cat Ruger brought up a squirrel hanging dead in it's mouth, that wasn't dead, just playing possum.  Ruger placed it on the ground and "Oh, no!  It's ALIVE!"  It hopped on 3 legs right into my garage down into a cement block hole!   Durn.

 

Still ansty to get the heck out of dodge, so I went to Aldi for groceries this morning.  

Still ansty so I went to Home Depot to get plywood, 2 x 4, and paper towels to fix shed.  Couldn't hardly get the plywood in my truck, would you believe a littlier-than-me Mexican gal grabbed the other end and helped me load up!!!  She was strong!

 

Once home, had to do all that by myself.  Into the shed it all went.  Grunting and groaning and praying to the Good Lord that nothing gets hurt.

 

Still ansty so I called Book Nook, "Yes, we have those 2 titles in paperback."  Got there and sure enough she'd saved them for me.  I looked up other authors, nothing clicked with me.  So walked an indoor flea market as fast as I could and found toothbrush sets for a quarter each, and found plastic party tablecloths for a quarter each.  So Happy!  Now I can cover up my garage sale.

 

Things needed covering because the mothballs purchased at Wal-Mart were stinking up my house.   I was using 'em to keep out the 3-legged squirrel.  FROM THE GARAGE the smell permeated the house.  How's that possible!?

 

So now I'm hot and tired (remember I didn't go to sleep until 3 a.m.) and don't wanna sleep upstairs in this heat.  Climbed into the attic and got a yellow castored dolly down.  Carried upstairs to John's closet, loaded the window A/C unit onto it, called Ian, "Do I need a 4 x 4 under this unit so it doesn't roll down the roof?"  

 

 

 "Mom, wait until tomorrow, I'll do it."

 

"Nope.  I'm hot.  I've been hot for 3 days.  Besides tomorrow I may take a trip.  I'm antsy.  Just stay on the line and if I scream you'll know I either dropped it on my foot or it slid down the shingles."

 

"Okay, I'll call 911."

 

"Whatever."

 

It's in.  It's grumbly.  It needs cleaned.  But...I'm cool!

 

Blowing on my fingers curved into my palm, "I'm cool!"

 

Since things are going so well, I think I should probably grab my BB gun pistal.  The cat's grooming on the picnic table.   It's up to me.  He can't ran very far, can he, that 3-legged squirrel?

 

Some of us, at least, one of us is going night-night.