WHEN COUNTING SHEEP, DON'T FORGET THE MOO!

“Baa-baa!”  Counting sheep, ever done that?  I never have.  I’ve had trouble falling asleep.  Many’s the time the bed's suffered my tossing and turning, my brain’s been on fire and couldn’t settle down, and my aches were too attention-getting to let go.

Since it’d been a trying day and housework was all done a 10-minute nap sounded delicious.  Just 10 minutes, that’s all I needed.

As I lay there I thought of the cartoons we grew up with…you know Foghorn Leghorn, Bugs Bunny, Tom and Jerry…and how some character or another would be caught sleeping with a little conversation bubble overhead showing his dreaming self as counting sheep. 

There it was - the blue sky, the green hills, the white fence trailing up, and those cute little fluffy puffball sheep bounding up and leaping over the farmer’s fence.  Three in a row, the first one LEAPS!  Next.  The second one LEAPS!  Next.  No matter what, there’s always three lined up ready to cross to the other side. One in the air, another on his way down, LEAP!

What a novel idea.  Counting sheep.  I could do that.  I’ve never tried it before.  Wonder if it works.  Wonder if it’ll work for me. 

Ah, the bed is so cozy, pillow’s mushed up just right, room’s curtain-shut dark, and air’s crispy clean.  Close my eyes and relax the bones.  Ahhhhhhhh, nice.

There they are -- adorable, sweet, rounded puffy cloudlike sheep.  Pure white; innocent.  One.  Toddle up, LEAP!  Two.  Toddle up, LEAP!   Three.  Waddle up…waddle up?  Wait a minute.  He’s too fat, he can’t leap.  SQUEEZE!  This one squeezes between bottom and top rungs of the fence.  What on earth?

Okay, brain’s playing tricks.  Relax.  Go back to sleep.  Slow breath.  Back to the sheep.   One.  Toddle up, LEAP!  Two.  Two?  Two.  These are twins. LEAP-LEAP!

Though eyes are closed, my lips grin.  Well, now that’s funny.   And this is funny, too.  A very little one, a lamb, LEAPS between the rails.  Nice.  She cleared the low board. 

Here comes another little one, ah cute, he has little horn nubs.  LEAP!

What’s this?  Daddy?  Hum-mm, big horned black nosed Daddy is guarding off to the right.  Next.  Extra-fluffy momma.  Silly momma, I saw eyes.  She had a very tiny one tucked into the wool of her back.  LEAP!  Shew.  She lands solidly.  They made it.

Daddy sheep, “Baa….baaack to your own kind.”  Huh?  Oh, yah, I see him now.  It’s a goat.  Pshaw, goats don’t belong.  Next.  Ah, a featherweight, LEAP!  “Whee” he says, clearing the fence nice and high.

Deep breath.  I’ve got to stop this silliness.  I want to know if counting sheep works.  Relax.  Slow breaths.

Big Daddy’s still watching, shaking head.   Next.  Miss Actress Hips swings up like Mae West.  LEAP!  Next.  Lil Sis does a pirouette.  LEAP!  Next.  Siblings carry “the baby” up and over.  LEAP!   Bully brother drags little brother up gives him big shove over.  Brushes off his hands.  LEAP!   Next.  Daddy says,  “Baa.  Baaaaa-ack of the line.”  Why?  Oh yah.  I see now.  There’s the black sheep of the family.  Next.  Big Daddy's last in line.  LEAP!  THUD!  He was a heavyweight.

Next.  Twinkle toes who’d obviously taken gymnastics tumbles through.  Forget the leap, it’s CARTWHEEL!  Next.  Lumber Jack can’t leap either.  Forcing through he breaks the bottom rail, off he TROTS.

Sheep counting is relaxing, but shoot, I’m not sleeping.  This is too funny to sleep.

Ah, breath out.  Here we go, three in a row.  One puffy white sheep.  Toddle up.  LEAP!  Two.  Toddle up, LEAP!  Three.  Toddle up.  Hey, wait a minute.  Just ‘cause you’re bigger doesn’t mean you can push ahead.   No cuts!

Relax.  Relax.

Next.  Toddle up… he’s not toddling up, he’s dragging a leg?  Good lands!   Good thing the fence is already broken, he can squeeze through.

Relax.  Relax.  Breathe.

Three sheep ready.  White  fence.  Blue skies.  Green pastures………….

“MOOO!”

Moo?  What on earth!  MOO?  Where did “MOO” come from.  Oh, for heavens sake!  It’s a cow!  You ol’ Jersey cow.  What are you doing in my sheep dreams! 

This is too funny.  This just proves it.  I can't count sheep.  Forget the "Moo"; and forget the sheep,  they don’t cooperate.