"Go To Sleep, Big Toe!"

Last night it happened again.  Big toe had to go to sleep first.  

You probably need some background.  

En Masse, in uniforms white, we high school girls sat in the courtyard learning questionable songs, other times we marched to dinner through white halls, some times we checked out the fair.   I'd won a scholarship to the Indiana State Fair Girls School, yippee!   It was 300 girls from around the state, housed in a big red brick building, learning what our leaders yearned to teach us.

One thing was a yoga exercise by which to fall asleep.

"Close your eyes, and systematically address every part of your body. Start at your scalp and move toward your toes. Begin by softening your forehead, eyes, face, and jaw. Tensing and then releasing each muscle group to help tight muscles loosen, especially those in the neck and shoulders. Continue giving attention to each area of your body - the arms, the trunk, and the legs - until you reach your toes. Surrender to gravity."

I had forgotten the head to toe.  In my mind, it was toe to head.  

Last night it happened again.

I couldn't sleep.  

Shift positions.

Say prayers.

Smoosh pillow.

Still, no sleep. 

Back to the old tried and true yoga trick.   Addressing my big toe (and here you're supposed to actually send your mind's eye to your toe and "feel" it.  Teacher said address each body part 3 times and relax it.) 

"Go to sleep, big toe.  Big toe, go to sleep.  Go to sleep."

Big toe perked up!  Big toe said "Hi!"  Big toe began greeting me.  He sang "This little piggy went to market" until all the other little piggies joined in and finished the song with a "Wee, wee, wee-ee!"   Oh.  My.  Lands!

That sure didn't work, sheesh.  "Arch, go to sleep.  Go to sleep, Arch.  Go to sleep."  Arch, arched!  First up, then down, like a stretching cat doing the downward dog!

For heaven's sake, "Ankles, go to sleep.  Go to sleep, ankles.  Go to sleep."  Ankles began swaying in unison, left, then right, singing, too, "Wipers on the bus go swish, swish, swish.  Swish, swish, swish.  All through the town."

What is this?  A Musical?

Maybe if I move higher up.  "Navel, go to sleep.  Go to sleep, Navel.  Go to sleep."  You know what Navel did?  Navel held hands with hips and in unison they slid left, they slid right, Navel did the La Cucaracha dance!  And finished with a flamingo castanet accompanied stomp,  "CHA, CHA, CHA!"  Oh no, stop this, no!

"Right Shoulder, go to sleep.  Go to sleep, Right Shoulder.  Go to sleep."  And in the dark of night there rings, "You put your right shoulder in, you put your right shoulder out, you put your right shoulder in, and you shake it all about.  You do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around, that's what its all about.  Yah!"

That's it.  I'm done. 

When I finally get to my wrists and sleep isn't induced, I give in.  I'm totally done. 

"Wrists, go to sleep.  Go to sleep, Wrists.  Go to sleep."  And what do the wrists do?  The wrists do the Queen's wave.

This Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour is done!

Where's that pillow?  I need to smother something!