Pumpkins, Everyone, Pumpkins! Great!

She must've found a safe place to stand away from the trajectory of the attic ladder because I never hit her!  Not once!  Even though I was throwing pumpkins like giant orange hail from the sky, not one bounced off of her.

Nikki, Ian's girlfriend, was choosing which plastic treat-holding pumpkins she and he wanted for their trek on Halloween day, whether wicked grin, ghostly white, or purple.  

That was day one.

Day two I grew pumpkin cookies.  Add a little baking soda to flour and flavoring and you can swell up cookies nicely in a hot oven.  I counted three and a half dozen, which could've been four, except I kept tasting the batter, yu-um.

They sleep.  And if I park at the mailbox, the dog won't bark and the kids won't hark.  I propped three pumpkins on oldest son's porch steps for each of his kids -- candy, creepy crawlies, and googly eyed headbands they contained.  The family wasn't supposed to discover that the little plastic ghost for the baby was motion detecting.  But they did.  And they played hide and seek.  Hey, do you know what's white, says boo, and runs like the wind?  A plastic ghost gobbled by the family dog!  

On the run, day three done!

Like the great pumpkin, not in girth, thank you, I was delivering pumpkins on the fly.  From the comfort of my Dodge Ram, I am.  Most everyone is on Fall break, even bus drivers.  A co-conspirator is willing John, and I quote, "These taste gr-rea-t!"

What was in store for day four?  Well, we're still growing pumpkins, out of hay bales.  Yep, out of hay bales.  You get the picture, stand a bale in third son's yard, poke in scarecrows on a stick, add a flying witch, and some hollow plastic pumpkins, drop in some pumpkin walnut cookies and you're an evil hay bale pumpkin grower.  Why evil?  Because I added a sign that said "$1 Sale".  Goblins and ghouls and vampires that drool can just knock on his door at all hours for a cheap-y thrill, bwahahahahahaaaaaa.

The other pumpkin growing hay bale sprouted a sign saying "welcome" and was plopped at the bachelor pad, the youngest sons being at work.  John poked in a coat hanger hook, I hung the pumpkin filled with cookies on it, and off we flew, like Linus' great pumpkin!  It took forever for those bachelors to discover those cookies?!  The neighborhood squirrels came and ate the nuts.  The rest of the cookies laid there in the rain water and like tadpoles grew legs and hopped out! 

Day five, leave them behind to go to her behind, not mine!  You got it, cookies in a jack o'lantern gift box were given to cousin -- walnuts, cloves, fat calories, all those!  I didn't aim to add "fat calories".  I didn't read it on the ingredient list, but I'm told by professionals that they are in there.  Doctor to nurse, "Suction!  We need suction!"  

Like Jacob Marley's ghost, Jacob the grandson, stood on his two year old wobbly feet and rattled his chain for all it's worth!  It was plastic, it was gray, it was chunky, it was the best thing in his pumpkin bucket.  When Lilly saw us, pumpkins in hand, she jumped off the couch, "Twick or Tweet!" so excited, then her head went in her pumpkin, "Ew, spider.  It's a spider!"

Weaving a web, I am.  Wringing hands in witchy glee, I'll pinch those plump little cheeks, 

"Children, come to me!" 

"Ahhhhh,"  Lilly squealed and ran around the corner, I chased with a cackle, "A-ha-ha-ha-haaa!"

For Fall break's final day, I'm conjuring my witchy ways and casting my spells.  Lilly's off to find a safe place to hide, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!  "Will she?"

Jeweled Leaves Under Foot

I went to jail.  Yep.  Yes, I did.  Even though it was my birthday weekend, I had to spend time in jail.

It was a beautfiul Sunday in October, crisp and clean air, crunch of jeweled leaves under foot, and the smell of dinner long past.  

The day was coming to a close and so was my birthday weekend.  Still, I had to go to jail!

Ian had kindly offered to buy my meal after church and since I'm not a person who likes to eat out, I opted for food dishes from the deli.  We had broasted chicken, pea salad, potato salad, pasta salad, broccoli salad, Pringles, and John made us a pot of spaghetti to top off the meal, especially for the little ones.

Through miscommunication we ended up with the toddlers Alayna, and Lilly, and kindergartener Jayden so the spaghetti was more their cuisine.  They flanked me on either side "I like broccoli, can I have yours?" said the boy.  "No!  I don't wanna eat," from one girl.  And, "Slur-r-r-rp...." from the other girl as she hung spaghetti in the air on her fork and hovered it over her cavernous mouth to suck it in.  What messes!

Remember...this is my birthday.  LOL.  And, though unusual, it was happy.

It started Saturday with a visit from sis.  She didn't bring me a regular cake, she brought me cheesecake, strawberry cheesecake!  Yum!  There's still some left, you can't have some, I'll eat the rest today, eeeeee.

Actually, Saturday was my birthday, but Rusty and wife had planned a party for Alayna who's birthday is 2 days before mine.  So, we were at their house eating donuts, drinking hot chocolate, taking family photos, and visiting with her side of the family when Spencer said, "Wait."  He hands me a thick loosely wrapped 6 in. square object.  It was a hand made glass trivet of Tybee Island light house!  Beautiful!  A beautiful blue!  I love it!  Such a thoughtful gift.  

Now, what was unusual about that, you're wondering.  Well, this gift "came without ribbons or tag, it came without boxes or bag" but it did have his handwriting on the crumpled wrapping paper.  It read   

"MOM Christmas (fragile)".  "B-day"

Christmas was crossed off and B-day written in it's place!   LOL, now I'm wondering, what am I getting for Christmas?  Huh, huh, huh, that's my next curious question.  

Oh, but you wanna know 'bout jail.

Okay, back to where we were -- at home, after the meal, and one set of parents has arrived.  Kids are running amok, men are in the new garage, one mom is off to town, another mom is nursing a headache on the couch.  

Early, yes, early last week, while it was still warm outside, I set up candy canes in the front yard.  I'm making a Christmas trail.   It winds around the huge tree, around the water feature, up and over the stumpery, and across the balance log.

I sowed grass seed, strew straw, drove stakes in the ground, and slid large plastic candy canes over the stakes.  It's not done.  Still need lights.  But these little kids are out there running amok -- pulling up canes, uncovering the stakes, and using them as swords!    

Parked at the base of the maple tree for the ducks to cozy up to is an oval mirror but little Alayna dances in front of it, LOL, and quickly changes direction to chase ducks.  Then the kids beg to be pushed in the swing so we have to watch for baby Jacob, who's still new to walking, as he nears the swing.  He has a cane, too, how he managed that, I don't know.  He even managed to hook himself once, "Waaaaaa".  GrammyPam to the rescue! 

Oh, yes, I digress.  Going to jail.

Well, I'm in the new garage 'cause baby Jacob heard a loud motor noise and wanted to see.  We toddled over to the open garage door to see his daddy and Grandpa tuning and revving up a chain saw.  Those red screwdrivers looked interesting and they were eye level so Jacob takes one in each hand.  Dadddy laughs but isn't sure someone wobbly on their feet should have a spear!

Here's come Alayna - bouncy, head strong, drama queen.  She pinches a goodly amount of material of my skirt and begins tugging, hard, "Come on, GrammyPam."  

"What do you want?   Where are we going?" are many questions I ask.

And she's pulling hard.  If I were to disconnect, she'd end up on her butt.  "Where are we going?"

She smirks a straight line smile, "To jail."

"To jail???  What are you talking about?  Where's jail?"  And she points to the rock bed between the deck and steps, "There."

"Why am I in jail?"

"You were bad", and she crosses her arms and stands guard.

I think I took too long with baby Jacob in the new garage, I think I was supposed to give her another turn on the swing.   Anyway, I remained in jail until Jayden came and bailed me out.  With a slight pull, my veiny hand in his soft baby hand, I was encouraged to return to their society.

And that was the highlights of my unusual Happy Birthday weekend, in and out of jail, LOL.

Thank you for my birthday wishes.

Thank God for my many blessings, and those toddlers -- those jeweled leaves under foot.

Bat Crossed The Moon, Owl Saw

Bat crossed the moon,

Owl saw with one eye,

Down; flutter & swoop

To Spider he did fly.

“Tis time!  Awake!

It’s All Hallow’s Eve!

We’ve a midnight date

There’s much to achieve!”

“Awake, web weaver,

Stop hanging around.

Time to stir mummies

Slumbering below-ground.”

“Owl!  Give a hoot!

Call the ghosts to float

With moans & groans

Zombies’ll take note!

“Cometh The Master,

The DEVIL, we say,

Through fire & embers

Before break o’ day!”

“Awake!  Arise!

Through flame & smoke

There’s much to do

‘fore Master’s awoke!”

Horrors! And, The Movie!

HORRORS!  AND, THE MOVIE!

It's on!  Let's go!

We have to see it!  Yes!  Yes, I know, I see it every year!  I still want to see it.

Hocus Pocus with the Sanderson sisters is on!  We must see it, it's October!  "Bubble, bubble, I'm in trouble" and, thinking of the plot ahead, not just of the black flame candle, "Let's light this sucker and meet the old broads!"

This year the Diana Theatre in Tipton is showing it for 4 days and I wanna go!  We talked Ian and girlfriend Nikki into going, then encouraged Spencer to tag along.  What fun, the 5 of us!

And then it began
with a one-legged man
who entered the show,
and wouldn't you know,
he sat in our row
four seats away
before the movie could play.

LOL, "Hi, Uncle Manny!"  Definitely a relative!

Arms laden with bags of buttered popcorn, big swigs of Coca-cola, and Air Head strips we file into the theatre.   It's not long before we hear from the speakers, "Look!  The woods!  They conjure!  Dani, come back!"

And, we're off.  Dani is off following the Mary witch, and we're off into the spirit land of black vats, black cats, zombies, and spells.

Horrors, the writers made two mistakes.  If the Sanderson witches were from 1693 Winnie wouldn't have a clue what she was saying, "Pull over!  Let me see your driver's permit."

And reemerging in 1993 there wouldn't be understanding about the idiom "It's curtains!  We evaporate!  We cease to exist!"   "It's curtains" wasn't a idoim until the 1920's.  Oh, the horrors of anachronisms.

And continuity mistakes?  I get in trouble all the time for pointing them out.  "Mom!  Just enjoy the movie!"  I laugh at times when others didn't laugh, and they laugh at times I didn't laugh.  It's an age difference.  Cousin Jack says our age group has a different, gentler sense of humor.

So, when I went out to get sweet snacks, I told the old Greek concession stand man that we needed more food, the previews were taking a while to get to the movie, he said, "That's to give all the rowdies time to settle in."  I looked at him wide-eyed, "How'd you know?  I've already been in trouble.  My son told me to shush!" and we laughed together.

The movie finally began and we immersed ourselves into All Hallow's Eve, "I put a spell on you, and now you're mine!" sang the sisters.

And that couldn't be more true..."It's a full moon tonight. That's when all the weirdos are out."

It was, you know, the full moon was out.  On the way to the theatre, we stopped the truck, 3 of us bailed, one to look under the truck for drips,  two to open the hood and check the dipstick (not a person).  Our oil pressure gauge had dropped to zero!

I looked at the orange, full harvest moon with squinty eyes.

They decided it was a bad sensor, our oil pressure was fine.  We made it, just in time.

In the middle of the movie when the witches cast a spell, "Wiggle thy toes, open thine eyes, twist thy fingers toward the sky" I wondered how a zombie can cut the stitches on his own lips without a mirror.  But, "Shush, watch the screen."

"Those aren't snakes," I tell them about the pink curlers in the hair of the woman that the witches thought to be Medusa, "I have those same curlers.  3 sets actually," and if eyes could speak, there'd be a spell on me!

Well, as the quote goes "The witches are dead, my soul's finally free" and the movie's ending.  In my case, my fun, Halloween movie, thrill seeking soul is free for another year ... until the next Hocus Pocus is due.

But the horrors haven't ceased.  The others exit ahead of me, and most of the theatre's cleared when I spy this older lady collapsed in an odd position.  Actually, in her dark clothes of many layers she looks like a bag lady.  She's still seated in her theatre seat, her head lags to her right, her eyes are tight shut, her hand is submerged in her popcorn bag sitting on the floor, and her left hand is in a fist.  I'm studying, trying to determine if she's alseep or, horrors, if she's dead.

Looking to the 3 women behind her, I asked, "Is she with you?"  No.  "Do you think she's asleep or something else?"  My minds thinking a hundred thoughts, one is to go get the old Greek man, when the oldest of the three shakes the lady pretty good.

She starts, her eyes pop open, she looks around at all of us, and draws her fist back.

Ut oh.
What's this all about, what's happening here?  I've seen enough to know someone coming out of a stroke or a nightmare or a drug induced state can be violent.  So, I step back.

She disgustedly utters while swinging her fist forward right in front of herself, "Durn!  I missed the ending!"

Shew!

Horrors, but good endings!  Time to uncurl my own toes, and go.