Pumpkins, Everyone, Pumpkins! Great!

She must've found a safe place to stand away from the trajectory of the attic ladder because I never hit her!  Not once!  Even though I was throwing pumpkins like giant orange hail from the sky, not one bounced off of her.

Nikki, Ian's girlfriend, was choosing which plastic treat-holding pumpkins she and he wanted for their trek on Halloween day, whether wicked grin, ghostly white, or purple.  

That was day one.

Day two I grew pumpkin cookies.  Add a little baking soda to flour and flavoring and you can swell up cookies nicely in a hot oven.  I counted three and a half dozen, which could've been four, except I kept tasting the batter, yu-um.

They sleep.  And if I park at the mailbox, the dog won't bark and the kids won't hark.  I propped three pumpkins on oldest son's porch steps for each of his kids -- candy, creepy crawlies, and googly eyed headbands they contained.  The family wasn't supposed to discover that the little plastic ghost for the baby was motion detecting.  But they did.  And they played hide and seek.  Hey, do you know what's white, says boo, and runs like the wind?  A plastic ghost gobbled by the family dog!  

On the run, day three done!

Like the great pumpkin, not in girth, thank you, I was delivering pumpkins on the fly.  From the comfort of my Dodge Ram, I am.  Most everyone is on Fall break, even bus drivers.  A co-conspirator is willing John, and I quote, "These taste gr-rea-t!"

What was in store for day four?  Well, we're still growing pumpkins, out of hay bales.  Yep, out of hay bales.  You get the picture, stand a bale in third son's yard, poke in scarecrows on a stick, add a flying witch, and some hollow plastic pumpkins, drop in some pumpkin walnut cookies and you're an evil hay bale pumpkin grower.  Why evil?  Because I added a sign that said "$1 Sale".  Goblins and ghouls and vampires that drool can just knock on his door at all hours for a cheap-y thrill, bwahahahahahaaaaaa.

The other pumpkin growing hay bale sprouted a sign saying "welcome" and was plopped at the bachelor pad, the youngest sons being at work.  John poked in a coat hanger hook, I hung the pumpkin filled with cookies on it, and off we flew, like Linus' great pumpkin!  It took forever for those bachelors to discover those cookies?!  The neighborhood squirrels came and ate the nuts.  The rest of the cookies laid there in the rain water and like tadpoles grew legs and hopped out! 

Day five, leave them behind to go to her behind, not mine!  You got it, cookies in a jack o'lantern gift box were given to cousin -- walnuts, cloves, fat calories, all those!  I didn't aim to add "fat calories".  I didn't read it on the ingredient list, but I'm told by professionals that they are in there.  Doctor to nurse, "Suction!  We need suction!"  

Like Jacob Marley's ghost, Jacob the grandson, stood on his two year old wobbly feet and rattled his chain for all it's worth!  It was plastic, it was gray, it was chunky, it was the best thing in his pumpkin bucket.  When Lilly saw us, pumpkins in hand, she jumped off the couch, "Twick or Tweet!" so excited, then her head went in her pumpkin, "Ew, spider.  It's a spider!"

Weaving a web, I am.  Wringing hands in witchy glee, I'll pinch those plump little cheeks, 

"Children, come to me!" 

"Ahhhhh,"  Lilly squealed and ran around the corner, I chased with a cackle, "A-ha-ha-ha-haaa!"

For Fall break's final day, I'm conjuring my witchy ways and casting my spells.  Lilly's off to find a safe place to hide, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!  "Will she?"