Monday, February 22, 2021

TWO FRIENDS, BETTER THAN NONE

 Just inches away!  The little green worm measured it, and so it was.

"Come back!  Help!  You numbskulls, don't leave me like this!!"  That's what the head said.

There was nothing else to him. 

The head was right there, in front of Inch Worm, no arms, and no legs, just a hairy head on the sand on the beach under the shade of the leafy tree under azure skies.   Hairy Head was lucky there was shade.  His friends had left him there being distracted by the bevy of bikini clad babes full of boisterous beckonings.

Little green worm inched closer.

Hairy Head breathed in, breathed out.  And when he did Inch Worm got a little bit blown away by the dirt devil his nostrils created.  When Inch Worm first discovered Hairy Head, he spun his silk thread to shimmy down from the leafy tree, as inch worms are apt to do, to avoid predators, but this was a curiousity thing, a thing to investigate, this head in the sand.

He inched closer.

Hairy Head squinted at him, "I wish you were bigger, I'd have you go get my friends to dig me out!"

Worm inched closer, "And if you were a dead head, I'd take you over for my own home."

Hairy Head warned, "Don't come any closer.  I don't particularly like bugs I can't flick off."

Inch Warm chuckled, "You can't flick!  I do see, however, that you can blink.  Ya wanna play ball?"

Hairy Head was astounded, "You want to play ball and me with no arms!  You're a nutty inch worm."

But Inch Worm had gone.  When he came back he had a raisin in his sharp pincher-like claws, all six of them.  He tossed it right into Hairy Head's eye, "Blink!  Blink fast and forceful.  It'll send the black ball back to me."  And Hairy Head did.  Toss, blink, bounce, grab, toss, blink, bounce, grab, and so they played that way for long, long minutes until the raisin got so sandy it left a particle in Hairy Head's eye.  

"Inch Worm!  I've a speck in my eye, it's making it water, and I can't possibly get it out.  I've got to quit playing."  Inch Worm gave it some thought, then inched his way up the nose and over the eyebrow and with his 4 prolegs held on tight while he swung his body down over the eyelid where he searched for the speck.  Very gently, 'cause pincher claws are very sharp, sharp enough to hold a fruit fly captive for munching, he plucked the speck out.

Inch Worm was getting tired, but still wanted to play, "Hairy, blow me a whirlwind."  And Hairy, considerate of his lightweight little friend, blew with ease.  Inch Worm tumbled and slid and giggled, "Again!  Again!"  And they played and played.

Hairy Head, thankful to have a friend, and not have a sand speck in his eye,  consented when Inch Worm said he needed a soft bed in which to nap.  Inch Worm, true legs first, prolegs second, measured himself up and over the temples into the soft hairs above the left ear and there settled in for a cozy snooze.

When Inch Worm awoke it was dusk!

Hairy Head still had his head on the sand!

Inch Worm crawled out in his bunching up way, went around the eyebrow and down to the lower lid to look Hairy Head in the eye.

Hairy Head was lamenting his state of affairs, "The boys haven't returned, Inchy.  Night's coming, and the cold air and the morning dew will be the death of me."

Inch Worm didn't like the sound of that.  "Hairy, I can spin a cocoon around you, if you'll let me.  That way when the beachcombers come out to swim in the morning, you'll still be alive to be rescued."

"But will you have enough to make your own cocoon?  I know you want to become a beautiful butterfly."

"We're friends, Hairy.  And friends take care of each other."

So Inch Worm began his spinning.  With the small spinneret on his lips, he spun a single strand of silk around and around and around, until Hairy Head was enshrouded.  They each considered the other and what the morning might bring.

One could emerge a spirit in the sky.

The other could become a soaring butterfly.

Each worried "My friend could die."

And there they stayed, Inch Worm exhausted, curled under the last threads covering Hairy's Head. 










Friday, February 19, 2021

FATED FIRE

FIRE!  His subconscious screamed it first!  FIRE!  Dreams of licking flames, unbearable heat, and airless smog quickly vanished as he became aware of the crackles of flames eating the timbers.  Remnants of the dream saturated his lungs as the lack of oxygen sent arrows of knowledge to his brain.

But the smell stabbed at his head, that unmistakable smell of burning wood, and stench of charred hair, his own.  It startled him completely awake.  FIRE! The word screamed through his body!  And his muscles jerked and his joints came to life, he just about met a worse fate as he half-leapt to exit the circle of flames.

Just as the spikes of fire flickered, he got a quick view of the north.  NOTHING!

Turning his eyes west, NOTHING!  Stumbling a bit more towards the south, NOTHING!  Nothing but blue skies and deep blue seas.   That sorry watery sound was slapping against the boards under his feet.  Then in a glimpse of hope his eyes spied land.  There!  Just to the east.  

And the flames went higher.

With obscured view, what was he to do when the tides were pulling and pushing, tugging and shoving, and sending him out to sea?

His mind wanted to visit and examine the preface to his predicament.  But his self-preservation shrieked for quick action.  Move!  Get out!

They'd put him here, The Others!

They'd thought him immoral.

He wasn't.

They'd declared him guilty.

He wasn't.

They'd pronounced him dead.

He wasn't.

He should've been a swimmer.

He wasn't.

The whole thing seemed a myth!  If only the sea gods, Neptune, Hydrus, Samudra, or Poseidon, could help him now, he wouldn't care which. 

But being a Christian, unlike The Others on shore, he bowed to his God.  Fervently and heatedly he prayed.  Then the answer came.  

"Click-click, click," and there smiling up out of his soon to be watery grave was a gun-metal blue-gray sea creature with a rounded friendly snout.  

A dolphin had come to help him out.

But wait.  There were two.  No, wait.  There were three!

The first offered up the end of a rope.

The second wore a life saver.

The third came in and out of focus, like a dying man's vision.

He laid back down on his pyre of fire and let his hands sag into the salted waters, into the hands of fate.  




Tuesday, February 16, 2021

VINTAGE OR ANTIQUE? HORSE OR MUSTANG?

In your computer's address bar type in "antique", and believe you me, we're at the age where "vintage" doesn't work, suddenly we have to use ANTIQUE to get the desired results!  

Sure, I know the difference.  Antique collectors everywhere know an item has to be 100 years old to be considered antique.  

Even my great aunt who reached the grand age of 96 couldn't be considered antique.   She was 4 years too young, LOL.  Lately, she'd seen the days of cell phones playing like a radio, showing movies like a television, and alarming you like a pre-set clock.  She'd seen days when a small closet became a bathroom, wall-to-wall carpeting got installed over hardwood, and televisions became the rage. Early in life she'd seen the days of horse & buggies when cars were uncommon, and water hand-pumped into a kitchen's shallow sink.   Now, that's antique!

Anyway, I digress.  On my laptop, I wanted to bring up pictures of old Valentine's.  You probably know the ones, they have a clever saying and a baby faced child, such as a boy on a hobby horse, captioned, "Howdy Pardner, Be My Valentine!"

The word vintage didn't work.  But, boy howdy, type in antique and you get a plethora of Valentine card images.  They're oh, so cute!  


They nod to a gentler and more clever time period.  Even the ones promoting Whitman Samplers and Russell Stover chocolates were mind tingling and taste bud stirring.  And there they were, picture proof examples -- heart shaped boxes with ruffles and flat smashed bows.  

I didn't know the heart-shaped boxes stored in my closet were antique, sheesh!  When did I go from vintage to antique?!   

"Horsin' 'round town, Valentine, please be mine!"  said the next Valentine card.

It's enough to give you an ancient urge to mount a horse rather then rev up a trendy Mustang.




Wednesday, February 10, 2021

Crack! Gun Shot At The Movies

Crack!  Gun Shot At The Movies


I have to tell you about the "Cra-ack!", the gun shot in the movie theater.  No, it had nothing to do with the gun store down the road called Crack Shot, nor a mass killing.  This was an explosion at the Mounds Mall Movie Theater.  


No sense in even trying to remember the name of the movie.  It’s clean left my mind.  There were several of us; we were between the ages of 15 to 22, and we were with cousin D.K.  D.K. was in a wheelchair and it was her choice to go to the movies.  But she can't take ANY of the blame. I call her D.K. here to protect the innocent.  She was innocent of all showtime tomfoolry.  It was ME! 

 

In those days, our family couldn’t afford the theater’s popcorn and soda pop, so we brought in our own snacks.  And…in those days soda pop only came in glass bottles.  After we’d selected our seats, arranged and rearranged ourselves to sit down, we began passing out the snacks and drinks.  Keep in mind, this was a no-no.  You did NOT bring in your own refreshments!

 

And I probably shouldn’t have.

 

This bottle of 16 oz. diet Pepsi was tucked under my left armpit under my coat.

Well, it slipped.  I couldn’t grab it fast enough.  


It slipped from my armpit right out of my coat.  It fell between the seat and the armrest.  It crashed to the floor.  It hit that cement floor like the sound of a shotgun in a closely confined metal shed!  


KA-BANG!  Shatter!  Splat!  


Liquid and glass, everywhere!

 

And us?  We sat there stiff as mannequins; stiff as mannequins in double-starched clothes, hoping to high heaven know one knew it was us.  We weren’t moving.  We weren’t speaking.  And we weren’t looking at each other.  


And to this day, I don’t know how we didn’t give ourselves away by our laughter as we were exiting.  We couldn't snicker or giggle, no, nothing as quiet as that, we couldn't keep it in.  With hands over our mouths, and heads bent down, we laughed out loud.  


How did the ushers not know where that awful, ringing-from-the rafters sound came from!


KA-BANG!  SHATTER!  SPLAT!

 

But what a memory!  

Tuesday, February 2, 2021

I Just Saw An Angel!

I JUST SAW AN ANGEL!

As we turned the corner, my son pointed it out.  It was golden, it was 5 feet tall, and it was overhead looking down at us.

My son directed my eyes upwards to where it was sitting atop a shelf, looking down, but what I saw was...two little rounded gold cheeks...butt cheeks!  

We had to go around another corner in the antique store to come upon the angel's front side.  With bow and arrow, cupid couldn't have been more impressive!


MOTHER'S ANGELS?  NOT!

The ending?  Bus driver said, "I'm checking for shoe laces.  Whoever doesn't have any is getting reported to their mother!"

The story?  The bus driver kept seeing something in his rearview mirror outside the bus, first to the left,  then it'd disappear, then to the right.  Upon investigation, three boys in the back of the bus had tied their shoe laces all together into one long rope.  Then they tied one end around the neck of Barbie!   She used to be a little girl's angel, but this poor Barbie doll suffered road rash; it took out the left boob!  



COULD IT BE...ANGEL'S FEET?

Current new restrictions on the bus due to the Coronavirus Flu include 1 child per seat unless related, and everyone wears a face mask.  Old restrictions still in force include no yelling, stay in your seat and stay seated.  The children were rowdy, so bus driver John, my own dear hubby, picked up the mic, "Sit on your back pockets, please, and feet on the floor!"

Next time he looked up, into his large rectangular rearview mirror, about six of them had their feet up on the backs of the green seats in front of them.  His view was of shoe bottoms.  But...the kids were giggling.  He took another look.  Feet were on the ground...but, they had taken off their shoes and put them on their hands!  


ANOTHER ANGEL IN CHURCH!

Miss Lilly came up the stairs at church to go to her pew with her family, and the whole congregation, full of smiles, turned to look, and they laughed out loud.  

Before she reached the top step to the sanctuary with a white stuffed animal, light fury dragon's tail swinging from her hand, she proclaimed in a very loud voice, so innocently and so fully happy, "Here I am, everybody!" 

Ah, a Lil' Angel!