The Pity Friend

THE PITY FRIEND

BACK STORY

When Jeani and I were in our teens, a woman in a branch of our church went visiting from city to city, in this instance a city out of state.  She'd been to my church and seen how sick I was with asthma.  I've had terrible asthma, chronic asthma, sometimes so bad it led into pnuemonia.  That was in the day when no one had it and no one around us had never ever heard of asthma.

To be clear I got it when I was 3 y.o.  I'd seen my step-grandmother drink down a small (maybe 8 or 12 oz?) bottle of Pepsi in one long swallow.  Playing in our sandbox I filled a bottle with sand, upended it and drank that sand down like a Pepsi.  I actually do remember the feeling of silk as it slid down.

Mom said from the kitchen window that my great-grandmother was watching and said, "Gail, that girl has just killed herself!"

Well, I didn't die.  But came near as close to dying ... many, many times.  

So, this traveling woman came to pray for me once.  To her and the Good Lord's credit I got well within the day.  Also, to their credit, she went out to Brewster, Washington, and asked Jeani if she'd write to this girl in Indiana who probably wouldn't live long.

This year 2024, some 50 years later, I found out she thought she'd write to me for about 6 months.  Really????  Humpth!

And, about 4 or 5 years ago when Jeani and husband Van came to visit, we were all sitting at a round table where she tells this story to my grown sons.  They laughed and Spencer coined the moniker "Pity Friend".  

"Ah-ha!  So, she's a Pity Friend," he loudly laughed.

Well, my face glowered.  We'd been sharing letters, cards, photos, visited back and forth all these years.  We got together online, too, and she's the one who introduced me to FlyLady.net.  So, I didn't like thinking I was a pity friend instead of a true friend.

Jeani said later, "You're never going to forgive me for that, are you?"

Humpth, too much water under the bridge for that, too many good times and good things came of our friendship.  I'll forgive her.  Later.  Soon.  Oh, alright.  FORGIVEN!

CURRENT STORY

Just recently, on our way home from a trip to the gas engine and antique tractor show, while she was helping me drive my new-to-me truck and only-once-before-pulled a camper, I squeaked disbelief when I heard her say on the phone to another friend, "I have a problem with Pam - LOL - I mean Susan."

LOL, she really did mean Susan, I was just teasing her with that squeak.

I realized I was difficult to teach how to drive while pulling a trailer.  Too many questions she said.

And, I realized she was a trainer for people to earn their CDL license.  They just trusted her she said.

And I also realized this was a strain on our friendship.  That's what I assumed, anyway.

The consolation?  I think it was consolation.  Kind of like those backhanded compliments... 

I heard her telling my guys this:

"My Pity Friend refuses to die, so I'm teaching her to have adventures."

(Oh, boy, sky-ward eye rolling I am.  Here we go....)