Two Little Incidents At the Show, Hat & Box

First let me say, I DIDN'T TRY TO KILL JEANI LAST YEAR.  She just thinks I did.

The electrical post survived last year's assault, all was well this year.

The manitau telescoping stackhandler was no where to be seen, we never got forked last year and we didn't get forked this year, all was well.

And since the white shirted man had done a runner, I'm sure he's alive and well today.

No worries.

This year I wondered if she was on a quest to get back at me for last year, though.  I know, I know, she'll blame the cardboard box, but ... it was SHE driving.  She's getting the Driving Award this year.  Thankfully, it was only a golf cart.  Mind you a golf cart for which I paid!    I was the behind-the-scenes financial backer.  She was momentarily a terrible backer --  'cuz she about knocked me over at the knee!  Think Nancy Kerrigan with Tonya Harding coming!  ROFLMHO  

And, I paid for my own demise, how ironic is THAT!

NAH.

I really wasn't scared, I only squealed a little.

It was the first day.  We were at the Tri-State Gas Engine and Antique Tractor Show cruising the streets for city-wide yard sales.  Well, we found 2 or 3 great ones!  I tell you!   We found one that filled a side yard with boxes and boxes of stuff like ceramic gold flat angels you hang on the wall.  Or costume jewelry like a string of plastic white beads, or rhinestone necklaces.  Or books with crinkled edges.  And those wooden boxes that held a Bible.  I got a child's swing on chains to hang from a tree.  Nice.

Another one was a 10 cent sale.  The seller just wanted the stuff gone!  I got a wreath, a Care Bear, a big long string of curtain lights, and gobs more.

At this one sale, where I got sheets of stickers and children's book, was two rows of tables under a white canopy.  There were empty cardboard boxes stacked at the corner of the first row of tables.  Jeani very nicely parked there. We shopped.

We went to leave. 

She was driving.  

The co-host gentleman's talking.  

I approached the right side of the golf cart from behind because of those boxes in front.  And then ... and then .... SHE ABOUT KILLED ME!  

Before I could take my seat, she hit the corner of the top cardboard box, nipped me, and I let out a eeek-squeek! 

As she was backing up she realized I wasn't sitting beside her, I was doing an avoidance dance, and she giggled!

How dare she giggle!

"Give me those keys!"

                       * * * *

This time I got her.

We spied a sale that we'd been to last year when it was a walk through, a carport open at both ends.  It had really nice stuff, rugs, tall ladder, big mirror, women's products, mens graphic shirts and lo, and behold, a hat!  I needed a hat!  It was a bright sunny day and besides Jeani ALWAYS wears a hat.  I needed a hat.  It was affordable.

By golly, twisting it this way and that and even stepping to the mirror to check it out, I surreptiously looked around at Jeani's hat, and thought, "It might be a twin."

Later she pointed out that hers had been formed, tweaked at each side, to bend upwards.  

Well, we got to the table to pay, and we're telling the host couple our little funny stories, being cold wanting blankets that first night, etc. and I say thanks and paid for my hat.

Jeani comes up ..."I saw that hat."

"You may have seen it, but I bought it."

"It looks like mine."

"Well, it's not."

I said, "It just LOOKS like yours."

It had a green band and everything.  Except for the butterfly she had attached to the side of hers.

Just for kicks and grins, I looked at the gentlemen taking money and pointed to my head looking out of the corner of my eye at Jeani.

"See this, 1 dollar."  Holding up the newly purchased hat.

"See hers?  23 dollars.  I win."

Immediately my inner devil warned --

"Run!"

The Pity Friend

THE PITY FRIEND

BACK STORY

When Jeani and I were in our teens, a woman in a branch of our church went visiting from city to city, in this instance a city out of state.  She'd been to my church and seen how sick I was with asthma.  I've had terrible asthma, chronic asthma, sometimes so bad it led into pnuemonia.  That was in the day when no one had it and no one around us had never ever heard of asthma.

To be clear I got it when I was 3 y.o.  I'd seen my step-grandmother drink down a small (maybe 8 or 12 oz?) bottle of Pepsi in one long swallow.  Playing in our sandbox I filled a bottle with sand, upended it and drank that sand down like a Pepsi.  I actually do remember the feeling of silk as it slid down.

Mom said from the kitchen window that my great-grandmother was watching and said, "Gail, that girl has just killed herself!"

Well, I didn't die.  But came near as close to dying ... many, many times.  

So, this traveling woman came to pray for me once.  To her and the Good Lord's credit I got well within the day.  Also, to their credit, she went out to Brewster, Washington, and asked Jeani if she'd write to this girl in Indiana who probably wouldn't live long.

This year 2024, some 50 years later, I found out she thought she'd write to me for about 6 months.  Really????  Humpth!

And, about 4 or 5 years ago when Jeani and husband Van came to visit, we were all sitting at a round table where she tells this story to my grown sons.  They laughed and Spencer coined the moniker "Pity Friend".  

"Ah-ha!  So, she's a Pity Friend," he loudly laughed.

Well, my face glowered.  We'd been sharing letters, cards, photos, visited back and forth all these years.  We got together online, too, and she's the one who introduced me to FlyLady.net.  So, I didn't like thinking I was a pity friend instead of a true friend.

Jeani said later, "You're never going to forgive me for that, are you?"

Humpth, too much water under the bridge for that, too many good times and good things came of our friendship.  I'll forgive her.  Later.  Soon.  Oh, alright.  FORGIVEN!

CURRENT STORY

Just recently, on our way home from a trip to the gas engine and antique tractor show, while she was helping me drive my new-to-me truck and only-once-before-pulled a camper, I squeaked disbelief when I heard her say on the phone to another friend, "I have a problem with Pam - LOL - I mean Susan."

LOL, she really did mean Susan, I was just teasing her with that squeak.

I realized I was difficult to teach how to drive while pulling a trailer.  Too many questions she said.

And, I realized she was a trainer for people to earn their CDL license.  They just trusted her she said.

And I also realized this was a strain on our friendship.  That's what I assumed, anyway.

The consolation?  I think it was consolation.  Kind of like those backhanded compliments... 

I heard her telling my guys this:

"My Pity Friend refuses to die, so I'm teaching her to have adventures."

(Oh, boy, sky-ward eye rolling I am.  Here we go....)

Too Many Questions for her, TMI for me

Pen pal, life-long friend, Jeani, is a CDL trainer for a company in Oklahoma.  Someone wanting their CDL drives the big truck while Jeani rides shot gun giving instructions.   A job she's held for 5 years.  She's also held a CDL for 12 years, and recently drove through a downpour gripping the wheel and praying for the weather to clear up.  

Jeani's used to the teacher / student relationship.  She's used to a certain respect and authority.

Leaving the Tri-State Gas Engine and Antique Tractor Show with me at the wheel of a used-new-to-me Dodge Ram 1500 Quad Cab 4.7 V8 engine with a tonneau cover and reese hitch attached to a 7000 pound Trail-Lite R-Vision 6 bed camper, Jeani is riding in the passenger seat.  She agreed to help me handle these tandem vehicles -- how to turn wide into the next lane, brake way before I think I should, and make sure my trailer is between the white lines at all times.

There was a detour!

Our usual nice drive wasn't so nice now.

On the way to Portland, because of the detour, we ended up on narrow roads, with newly graveled shoulders, lots of little cars coming at us, and driving in the dark on the last leg of the trip. 

Heading back home from Portland, we passed one road after another that looked good enough for us on which to travel.  GPS didn't agree.  GPS kept us on a straight path west, and a straight path south, until we tied in to the main road .

I would ask, "Why?"  

I would ask, "Can't we take that road?"

I would ask, "Is my truck supposed to do that?"

Or, "It feels like we're rocking, are we supposed to rock?"

Or, "It feels like the camper is pushing us, then it backs off, then it pushes again.  Is that normal?"

And, "Do you think we should've put on the sway bars?"

Jeani reacted, "WE HAVE SWAYBARS!"  

If she'd known that, we wouldn't have left camp without them hooked up!  She did know that I had been sick a couple of days, and that I had allergic reactions to this truck, and it was only my second time pulling a trailer.  I was new.  Because there wasn't a trailer brake she had me slowing down way ahead of time.

"Slow down, Pamela.  We need to slow down.  BRAKE, BRAKE, BRAKE!"

35 miles later, we stop.  Again I asked a question, "Would you like for us to change it up?  Spencer and Calvin in the truck behind us wouldn't mind if we all switched places."

"You have a headache?"  She nodded and looked away with closed eyes.

I got in the passenger seat, Calvin got behind the wheel.

Jeani got in the passenger seat of Spencer's truck.

I walked up to the window, "Sorry 'bout your headache.  Do you need water, or some protein?  Is it stress or the heat?"

She said, "Stress."

"Stress?  Really?  From what?"

"Too many questions!"

Well. Humpth.  That was TMI!

"Don't Let the Plug-in Get Wet!"

My turn!  I grabbed the heavy gauge orange electrical cord, looped it a couple of times and FLU-U-U-NG with all my might!  I had to get the 3 pronged end across the watery ravine onto the opposite bank.  There's a electrical box on a pole over there that I had to plug into to get juice to my Trail-Lite camper.

We were in a county fairgrounds at Portland Indiana, at the Tri-State Gas Engine and Antique Tractor Show, which takes place every August, the third week.  We get to camp for $20 for the whole week as long as we have an exhibit.  Anything from tractors to hit & miss engines to flamingos to fingernail clippers are acceptable.

Jeani, my co-camper,  said not to let the plug-in get wet.

Shew!  I got it over there!

Now, for the next step.

The distance to the bridge was about 150 feet, cross the bridge over the said ravine, go another 150 feet to that electric pole.

Wow, the bank was steep.  Okay, what to do? 

A dwarf tree. hugging the bank with clawing roots knowing this is its source of liquid sustenance, was useful.  I put my left foot under an exposed root for security, then gently took right-footed steps to get close to the orange plug.  Left hand holding tight to a small branch, and using a long metal rod with an angled end in my right hand, I reached the cord.

Yes!  Hooked it!

Dragged it up and secured it.

I was so thrilled to have succeeded without falling in the creek and getting wet, that I raised both arms to the sky waving that rod!

"Yaaaa-Hoo!" I hollered.

I looked to Jeani who was unaffected, she was on her cellphone.

Back to camp, sister-in-law, who was at her own campsite with brother and niece, said, "I saw you over there.  Your arms raised up.  And I saw Jeani on her phone.  Looked like she was saying, "Can you hear me now?"

We all laughed.

PAMELA'S NEW CAR

Jeanne's Equinox, Pamela's Honda, Calvin's Mach 1

Taken by Jeanne Ralston

The joke was that Jeanne inadvertently purchased a Mach 1 wannabe after she'd taken a speedy ride with Calvin down the county road and being caught out by her son.  Of course, I wanted color, I've been so tired of silver, gray, and black vehicles - a Mach 1 wannabe, too?  ROFL

****

"Rusty, I bought a new Honda Civic.  It's a pretty blue like Calvin's Mach 1."

He, my oldest son, was sitting at the kitchen table to my right and slightly distracted by something else at which he was studying.  

"It has low mileage."  

Rusty absentmindedly came back, "1200?"

"No, lower."

"400?"

"No, 3."

"300.  That's really good, Mom."

"No.  THREE." 

Finally.  He looked up!  Wide-eyed!  

LOL

****

My sister-in-law fell out of a dumping golf cart.  She and her daughter received some injuries, especially wrist strains.  Feeling really blessed by Dear Hubby and the Good Lord, I've decided to use my new car for good things like giving rides, and visiting sick and/or injured people.

So, this day I drove over to check on sister-in-law.

She was pretty sore, aches and pains here and there, with ace bandage around her wrist.  As I was leaving, I like to leave with a joke or a smile, I told her and my brother about my new intentions.

"I've got a new car, you know, so I drove over here in my old truck!"

LOL

****

My new car can drive itself.  It has backup camera, it has cruise control, it has options of Normal, Econ, and Sport mode, and it has lane assist.  It also senses light and will turn on and off, and/or dim the headlights.  It can tell you low tire pressure, time for oil change, and when someone pulls out in front of you.  That's when it flashes "BRAKE, BRAKE, BRAKE" simultaneously drastically slowing down the engine in split seconds!

There really isn't any need for my hands on the wheel!

I'm just waiting for that sucking sound.

Yep, that unpleasant sucking sound.

You know, the sound of my coffee being drained via the car cup holder while the dash flashes a warning, "CAFFEINE, CAFFEINE, CAFFEINE."

Quick, before it smells the sugar and sends out another warning,

"Dunk the donut!"

LOL

AT CHURCH: LILLY CROSS? JAYDEN LAID TO REST! JACOB FOODS

JAYDEN, 3rd grade

NOISY CRAYONS

He was being noisy, was Jayden, in the pew next to me.  He was digging through the little plastic container of crayons, carelessly, trying to find a black one.  

"Please be quiet during the sermon," I cautioned him as his sister joined us.  He had a reasonable reply.

"We can't.  We have too much energy."

SING ALONG

Sitting beside me in the church pew, I encouraged Jayden to sing along.  Running my finger across the hymnal page of music notes and words, I showed him how to follow along so he could confidently sing.  

Turning away, to check on the other grandkid, I opened my own hymnal.  When I looked back at Jayden, he was picture perfect.  He'd decided to lay in the seat!  His feet were nearest me, crossed at the ankles.  His hands were loosely clasped on his chest.  The book I'd given him?

It was still open ... laid across his eyes.  The little imp was acting like he was sleeping!

LILLY, 2nd grade

The Cross?

Miss Lilly side-stepped my feet to sidle into my pew.  She carried a backpack, and what I thought was an arrow made of Legos.  No, I was informed it was a Minecraft object.  I asked her what it was.

"Is it an arrow?"  No.

"Is it a cross?"  Which seemed reasonable since we were in church.

"No," she asserted, "it's an AXE!"

JACOB, 4 y.o.

More Bacon

After church that Sunday afternoon, I'd fried up a pound of bacon.

Miss Lilly and Master Jacob were hungry.

Keeping some tucked away to my right by the stove, I put a bountiful amount on a plate and set it in the middle of the kitchen table where she was drawing sharks, and he was trying to color.  I hadn't yet made sandwiches nor told them they could dive in.  But, GrammyPam doesn't really care one way or another.

When I looked back around from my spitting frying skillet of bacon, Jacob's head was facing the ceiling with mouth wide open into which he was dropping a piece of bacon.

"You're a sneaky little bacon eater!"

His little boy voice laughed,  "Yah, that's me!"

Tootsie Pop

Jacob was content to sit beside me in the back pew licking a tootsie pop.  He was so enjoying it he was rocking with each suck.  He told me about it.

"I'm drinking off the juice."  Slur-r-r-rp!

Jeani, Onion, Eyes

We ate at a little place in Greenfield called The Mug.  I thought they were saying The Mud so

when I saw the street sign with a smiling pig it then made sense, especially since they featured pulled pork and tenderloin sandwiches.  Bar seating inside, and several  picnic tables outside.  

But, no, it was called The Mug, they had good root beer.  I couldn't eat all my onion rings so offered them around.  Jeani surprised me and made us all laugh, she pulled out the onion and just ate the breading!  

                 

                                                

******

"Jeani, look at his eyes!"  I called to my friend as we watched a paradise show on t.v.   The young actor was down on his knees, with an open red velvet box extended towards his beloved, asking for her hand in marriage.

"His eyes are so blue!" I exclaimed, "They're gorgeous."

Jeani quickly agreed, "Oh, wow, beautiful contacts!"