Pumpkins, Everyone, Pumpkins! Great!

She must've found a safe place to stand away from the trajectory of the attic ladder because I never hit her!  Not once!  Even though I was throwing pumpkins like giant orange hail from the sky, not one bounced off of her.

Nikki, Ian's girlfriend, was choosing which plastic treat-holding pumpkins she and he wanted for their trek on Halloween day, whether wicked grin, ghostly white, or purple.  

That was day one.

Day two I grew pumpkin cookies.  Add a little baking soda to flour and flavoring and you can swell up cookies nicely in a hot oven.  I counted three and a half dozen, which could've been four, except I kept tasting the batter, yu-um.

They sleep.  And if I park at the mailbox, the dog won't bark and the kids won't hark.  I propped three pumpkins on oldest son's porch steps for each of his kids -- candy, creepy crawlies, and googly eyed headbands they contained.  The family wasn't supposed to discover that the little plastic ghost for the baby was motion detecting.  But they did.  And they played hide and seek.  Hey, do you know what's white, says boo, and runs like the wind?  A plastic ghost gobbled by the family dog!  

On the run, day three done!

Like the great pumpkin, not in girth, thank you, I was delivering pumpkins on the fly.  From the comfort of my Dodge Ram, I am.  Most everyone is on Fall break, even bus drivers.  A co-conspirator is willing John, and I quote, "These taste gr-rea-t!"

What was in store for day four?  Well, we're still growing pumpkins, out of hay bales.  Yep, out of hay bales.  You get the picture, stand a bale in third son's yard, poke in scarecrows on a stick, add a flying witch, and some hollow plastic pumpkins, drop in some pumpkin walnut cookies and you're an evil hay bale pumpkin grower.  Why evil?  Because I added a sign that said "$1 Sale".  Goblins and ghouls and vampires that drool can just knock on his door at all hours for a cheap-y thrill, bwahahahahahaaaaaa.

The other pumpkin growing hay bale sprouted a sign saying "welcome" and was plopped at the bachelor pad, the youngest sons being at work.  John poked in a coat hanger hook, I hung the pumpkin filled with cookies on it, and off we flew, like Linus' great pumpkin!  It took forever for those bachelors to discover those cookies?!  The neighborhood squirrels came and ate the nuts.  The rest of the cookies laid there in the rain water and like tadpoles grew legs and hopped out! 

Day five, leave them behind to go to her behind, not mine!  You got it, cookies in a jack o'lantern gift box were given to cousin -- walnuts, cloves, fat calories, all those!  I didn't aim to add "fat calories".  I didn't read it on the ingredient list, but I'm told by professionals that they are in there.  Doctor to nurse, "Suction!  We need suction!"  

Like Jacob Marley's ghost, Jacob the grandson, stood on his two year old wobbly feet and rattled his chain for all it's worth!  It was plastic, it was gray, it was chunky, it was the best thing in his pumpkin bucket.  When Lilly saw us, pumpkins in hand, she jumped off the couch, "Twick or Tweet!" so excited, then her head went in her pumpkin, "Ew, spider.  It's a spider!"

Weaving a web, I am.  Wringing hands in witchy glee, I'll pinch those plump little cheeks, 

"Children, come to me!" 

"Ahhhhh,"  Lilly squealed and ran around the corner, I chased with a cackle, "A-ha-ha-ha-haaa!"

For Fall break's final day, I'm conjuring my witchy ways and casting my spells.  Lilly's off to find a safe place to hide, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!  "Will she?"

Jeweled Leaves Under Foot

I went to jail.  Yep.  Yes, I did.  Even though it was my birthday weekend, I had to spend time in jail.

It was a beautfiul Sunday in October, crisp and clean air, crunch of jeweled leaves under foot, and the smell of dinner long past.  

The day was coming to a close and so was my birthday weekend.  Still, I had to go to jail!

Ian had kindly offered to buy my meal after church and since I'm not a person who likes to eat out, I opted for food dishes from the deli.  We had broasted chicken, pea salad, potato salad, pasta salad, broccoli salad, Pringles, and John made us a pot of spaghetti to top off the meal, especially for the little ones.

Through miscommunication we ended up with the toddlers Alayna, and Lilly, and kindergartener Jayden so the spaghetti was more their cuisine.  They flanked me on either side "I like broccoli, can I have yours?" said the boy.  "No!  I don't wanna eat," from one girl.  And, "Slur-r-r-rp...." from the other girl as she hung spaghetti in the air on her fork and hovered it over her cavernous mouth to suck it in.  What messes!

Remember...this is my birthday.  LOL.  And, though unusual, it was happy.

It started Saturday with a visit from sis.  She didn't bring me a regular cake, she brought me cheesecake, strawberry cheesecake!  Yum!  There's still some left, you can't have some, I'll eat the rest today, eeeeee.

Actually, Saturday was my birthday, but Rusty and wife had planned a party for Alayna who's birthday is 2 days before mine.  So, we were at their house eating donuts, drinking hot chocolate, taking family photos, and visiting with her side of the family when Spencer said, "Wait."  He hands me a thick loosely wrapped 6 in. square object.  It was a hand made glass trivet of Tybee Island light house!  Beautiful!  A beautiful blue!  I love it!  Such a thoughtful gift.  

Now, what was unusual about that, you're wondering.  Well, this gift "came without ribbons or tag, it came without boxes or bag" but it did have his handwriting on the crumpled wrapping paper.  It read   

"MOM Christmas (fragile)".  "B-day"

Christmas was crossed off and B-day written in it's place!   LOL, now I'm wondering, what am I getting for Christmas?  Huh, huh, huh, that's my next curious question.  

Oh, but you wanna know 'bout jail.

Okay, back to where we were -- at home, after the meal, and one set of parents has arrived.  Kids are running amok, men are in the new garage, one mom is off to town, another mom is nursing a headache on the couch.  

Early, yes, early last week, while it was still warm outside, I set up candy canes in the front yard.  I'm making a Christmas trail.   It winds around the huge tree, around the water feature, up and over the stumpery, and across the balance log.

I sowed grass seed, strew straw, drove stakes in the ground, and slid large plastic candy canes over the stakes.  It's not done.  Still need lights.  But these little kids are out there running amok -- pulling up canes, uncovering the stakes, and using them as swords!    

Parked at the base of the maple tree for the ducks to cozy up to is an oval mirror but little Alayna dances in front of it, LOL, and quickly changes direction to chase ducks.  Then the kids beg to be pushed in the swing so we have to watch for baby Jacob, who's still new to walking, as he nears the swing.  He has a cane, too, how he managed that, I don't know.  He even managed to hook himself once, "Waaaaaa".  GrammyPam to the rescue! 

Oh, yes, I digress.  Going to jail.

Well, I'm in the new garage 'cause baby Jacob heard a loud motor noise and wanted to see.  We toddled over to the open garage door to see his daddy and Grandpa tuning and revving up a chain saw.  Those red screwdrivers looked interesting and they were eye level so Jacob takes one in each hand.  Dadddy laughs but isn't sure someone wobbly on their feet should have a spear!

Here's come Alayna - bouncy, head strong, drama queen.  She pinches a goodly amount of material of my skirt and begins tugging, hard, "Come on, GrammyPam."  

"What do you want?   Where are we going?" are many questions I ask.

And she's pulling hard.  If I were to disconnect, she'd end up on her butt.  "Where are we going?"

She smirks a straight line smile, "To jail."

"To jail???  What are you talking about?  Where's jail?"  And she points to the rock bed between the deck and steps, "There."

"Why am I in jail?"

"You were bad", and she crosses her arms and stands guard.

I think I took too long with baby Jacob in the new garage, I think I was supposed to give her another turn on the swing.   Anyway, I remained in jail until Jayden came and bailed me out.  With a slight pull, my veiny hand in his soft baby hand, I was encouraged to return to their society.

And that was the highlights of my unusual Happy Birthday weekend, in and out of jail, LOL.

Thank you for my birthday wishes.

Thank God for my many blessings, and those toddlers -- those jeweled leaves under foot.

Bat Crossed The Moon, Owl Saw

Bat crossed the moon,

Owl saw with one eye,

Down; flutter & swoop

To Spider he did fly.

“Tis time!  Awake!

It’s All Hallow’s Eve!

We’ve a midnight date

There’s much to achieve!”

“Awake, web weaver,

Stop hanging around.

Time to stir mummies

Slumbering below-ground.”

“Owl!  Give a hoot!

Call the ghosts to float

With moans & groans

Zombies’ll take note!

“Cometh The Master,

The DEVIL, we say,

Through fire & embers

Before break o’ day!”

“Awake!  Arise!

Through flame & smoke

There’s much to do

‘fore Master’s awoke!”

Horrors! And, The Movie!

HORRORS!  AND, THE MOVIE!

It's on!  Let's go!

We have to see it!  Yes!  Yes, I know, I see it every year!  I still want to see it.

Hocus Pocus with the Sanderson sisters is on!  We must see it, it's October!  "Bubble, bubble, I'm in trouble" and, thinking of the plot ahead, not just of the black flame candle, "Let's light this sucker and meet the old broads!"

This year the Diana Theatre in Tipton is showing it for 4 days and I wanna go!  We talked Ian and girlfriend Nikki into going, then encouraged Spencer to tag along.  What fun, the 5 of us!

And then it began
with a one-legged man
who entered the show,
and wouldn't you know,
he sat in our row
four seats away
before the movie could play.

LOL, "Hi, Uncle Manny!"  Definitely a relative!

Arms laden with bags of buttered popcorn, big swigs of Coca-cola, and Air Head strips we file into the theatre.   It's not long before we hear from the speakers, "Look!  The woods!  They conjure!  Dani, come back!"

And, we're off.  Dani is off following the Mary witch, and we're off into the spirit land of black vats, black cats, zombies, and spells.

Horrors, the writers made two mistakes.  If the Sanderson witches were from 1693 Winnie wouldn't have a clue what she was saying, "Pull over!  Let me see your driver's permit."

And reemerging in 1993 there wouldn't be understanding about the idiom "It's curtains!  We evaporate!  We cease to exist!"   "It's curtains" wasn't a idoim until the 1920's.  Oh, the horrors of anachronisms.

And continuity mistakes?  I get in trouble all the time for pointing them out.  "Mom!  Just enjoy the movie!"  I laugh at times when others didn't laugh, and they laugh at times I didn't laugh.  It's an age difference.  Cousin Jack says our age group has a different, gentler sense of humor.

So, when I went out to get sweet snacks, I told the old Greek concession stand man that we needed more food, the previews were taking a while to get to the movie, he said, "That's to give all the rowdies time to settle in."  I looked at him wide-eyed, "How'd you know?  I've already been in trouble.  My son told me to shush!" and we laughed together.

The movie finally began and we immersed ourselves into All Hallow's Eve, "I put a spell on you, and now you're mine!" sang the sisters.

And that couldn't be more true..."It's a full moon tonight. That's when all the weirdos are out."

It was, you know, the full moon was out.  On the way to the theatre, we stopped the truck, 3 of us bailed, one to look under the truck for drips,  two to open the hood and check the dipstick (not a person).  Our oil pressure gauge had dropped to zero!

I looked at the orange, full harvest moon with squinty eyes.

They decided it was a bad sensor, our oil pressure was fine.  We made it, just in time.

In the middle of the movie when the witches cast a spell, "Wiggle thy toes, open thine eyes, twist thy fingers toward the sky" I wondered how a zombie can cut the stitches on his own lips without a mirror.  But, "Shush, watch the screen."

"Those aren't snakes," I tell them about the pink curlers in the hair of the woman that the witches thought to be Medusa, "I have those same curlers.  3 sets actually," and if eyes could speak, there'd be a spell on me!

Well, as the quote goes "The witches are dead, my soul's finally free" and the movie's ending.  In my case, my fun, Halloween movie, thrill seeking soul is free for another year ... until the next Hocus Pocus is due.

But the horrors haven't ceased.  The others exit ahead of me, and most of the theatre's cleared when I spy this older lady collapsed in an odd position.  Actually, in her dark clothes of many layers she looks like a bag lady.  She's still seated in her theatre seat, her head lags to her right, her eyes are tight shut, her hand is submerged in her popcorn bag sitting on the floor, and her left hand is in a fist.  I'm studying, trying to determine if she's alseep or, horrors, if she's dead.

Looking to the 3 women behind her, I asked, "Is she with you?"  No.  "Do you think she's asleep or something else?"  My minds thinking a hundred thoughts, one is to go get the old Greek man, when the oldest of the three shakes the lady pretty good.

She starts, her eyes pop open, she looks around at all of us, and draws her fist back.

Ut oh.
What's this all about, what's happening here?  I've seen enough to know someone coming out of a stroke or a nightmare or a drug induced state can be violent.  So, I step back.

She disgustedly utters while swinging her fist forward right in front of herself, "Durn!  I missed the ending!"

Shew!

Horrors, but good endings!  Time to uncurl my own toes, and go.

Miss Lilly - Little Joys, Big Toys

MISS LILLY - LITTLE JOYS, BIG TOYS

"Gator!"  Miss Lilly spied the rear end of our mower and thought it was a Gator like the one she rides at her other grandpa's house.  She insisted on a ride.  I told her it wasn't a Gator it was a Zero Turn, so she went to Grandpa John, "I wanna ride your zebra turn."  LOL!  

Since John was feeling bad, It ended up her dad, Clint, took her a couple laps around the yard, and every time she got near me she raised both arms up "Whee" like she was on a roller coaster ride!  LOL, the little joys.

***

After church Miss Lilly's parents commented that they wanted to come to over, but I wasn't feeling up to it, and I hadn't prepped the house for visitors, so, I used the excuse that I hadn't swept my floors.  It matters 'cause Lilly's brother, Master Jacob, crawls and taste tests every little thing.  

Guess she really wanted to come to GrammyPam's because once we were seated next to each other at the restaurant, it was obvious they had given Miss Lilly some explanation, she said strongly, "GwammyPam.  Sweep.  Your.  Floors."  ROFL! 

***

Early one Saturday we took Miss Lilly and her dad with us to get lag bolts and a garden hose at Home Depot.  The men wondered if we should get a shopping cart.  "I'll show you what to do" as I headed for a supply cart.  I call it a rolling play ground, LOL. 

It's wide and comfortable enough for a kid to sit Indian style, cross legged, especially when they're tired or their feet don't like their shoes.  We'd done it before with Jaden and her.

While John and Clint were immersed in hunting lag bolts Lilly reached into a bin and got herself some jumbo wood screws.  She lined them up, blew on them, and when they "accidentally" fell over she claimed, "I blew out the candles."

She's a candle!
She's a bright light in our life, whee!

Jacob -- A Little Yodel With Rings, Flings, and Clanks

Master Jacob yodels.  He turns his head up to you, his bright eyes excited, and talks in jibber-jabbers, but with the way his little tongue folds in and out, and the gutteral and falsetto sounds that come from him, you'd swear he's yodeling!

Since he's under a year old, I picked him up to introduce him to our wind chimes.  He's discovered that if he throws up his arms, someone will pick him up, LOL.  So, I did. 

He wasn't sure about being face level with the chimes.  His little fist gingerly reached out to one, and gave it a bat, but he was very studious about it all.  He wasn't sure he liked the loud unusual ringing sounds.

And as sounds go, after church we went to KOTO, a new Japanese hibachi grill where I was holding Jacob when the teppanyaki chef lit the fire.  Boy, did the instant flicking, rising, searing flames scare him!  He reared back and trembled, poor little guy.

Jacob's always wanted to walk, he's wanted to get to Miss Lilly so he could play!  Watching his eyes you can see what he's thinking,  He's thinking she's great!  And exciting!

So, when I rearranged the corner toy bookcase, that was perfect for him.  He could get right in there with the rest of the kids.  Jacob's toys, since he's still a crawler, got put at the end for easy access; nothing in front to hinder his reach.

It was a hit.  Jayden, his older cousin, walked up, chose a toy he hadn't played with in a while, pulled it down, and since it had all the pieces exclaimed "You found Batman!"  Miss Lilly played with a small princess house that had been buried.  And then, Master Jacob stood on wobbly feet, with his back to us, and began emptying his tote -- "Fling" went the rattle, "Fling" went stuffed Humpty Dumpty, "Fling" went teething toy, and "Fling" went a 100 more!!!!  Tossing toys over his shoulder, Jacob had a field day!

Got loose at church, he did.  I'd had him, but he wiggled and squirmed and struggled to get loose.  "Free at last" he crawled to Aunt Mary.  We already had a plan in place for this contingency.  He managed to get free from her, too, while she was distracted.

With a wispy grin, and smiling eyes, Mom got him!  He was on his way back to me, with a toy in his left hand, when she emerged from the restroom and retrieved her son.  

There was no subtility, there was no sneaking, there was no getting by.  Like a pirate with a wooden leg, he clanked as he crawled -- crawl, clank, crawl, clank, crawl, clank.  Hot Wheel cars clutched in the hand aren't quiet, you know.  LOL.

Master Jacob can crawl faster than you can turn around and shut the bathroom door!  Shifting to sit on his bottom, he can tell you all about it, in the language of yodel.

Alayna -- Catchers, Ducks, & Chocolate Goo

Hopping up onto the deck, after running her little legs off chasing the ducks, Alayna with toddler squeaky voice complained, "I can't get a duck, him too fast", gasp, gasp.  


***

Alayna ALWAYS frowns when she realizes you're going to take her picture, then when Amanda, her mother, says, "Smile, Alayna, smile."  She gives you the biggest sweetest grin!  She's quite a girl -- bouncy, strong, loyal to her brother, head strong, mannerly, and a go-getter. 

4th of July was simple; it was fun, and they all left late and happy.  After the grilling and eating, and the kids playing in the wading pools we went to the wood pile at the barn where we pulled out some brush to build a very small bonfire to roast marshmallows and make s'mores.  We sat in lawn chairs and on the tailgates while kids sat in a red cloth-sided wagon.  Later they got free to sit on a blanket to play with Piper the cat and some ants, chuckle.

Oh, oh, oh, and Alayna, the 2 y.o. was the high-point of the evening -- she crawled in the truckbed behind our backs and ate ALL of the remaining Hershey chocolate squares!  Oh, my lands, was her face covered in chocolate goo!

And that was our 4th, no fireworks, but we still had sparks -- "ew, ah".

***

The oldest and his family stayed way past John's bedtime.  He had to get up early to go to school and take the kids, too.  He's a bus driver, you know, LOL.  

Anyway, I digress, back to Rusty's family staying late.  It wasn't the parents fault.   We couldn't find the treasured sippy cup.  We looked and looked.  Upstairs.  Downstairs.  Back bedrooms.  Under tables.  In the toy corner.  In the diaper bag.  In the sink, "Did she toss it up and over and we not hear the clank?"  Exhausted, we all stood still looking at each with wide eyes of "I can't imagine" and shrugging shoulders.  Then I spied it.   The cloth was a little bulged and the green top of the sippy cup was peeking at me.  Since it was child high, she must've walked by and just dropped it in -- in the pocket of the armrest remote control caddy!

***

Alayna came to stay for a couple-three hours -- she's no problem.  This bouncy girl entertains herself.  She found John's stash of sun catchers.  He keeps a couple during each season on the dash of his bus then gives them away.   As a group Alayna would move them from room to room upstairs.  

Mostly, they are people like Scarecrow, Mummy, Hawaiin Hulu Girl, Snowman, Santa Claus, Cupid, but today they became something else, she made them "ribbit-ribbit" and hop over each other.  Ne'er was there a frog in the bunch! 

The photo is of the next morning.  The first thing I saw was five of those sun catchers all lined up at the foot of my bed!  Too funny; I didn't see her put them there.

***

Another time we babysat, she gobbled a bowl of spaghetti while pretending she's a hungry hippo, she got read 2 story books, and then John brought her to me, "I don't know what she's doing.  She's limp, not talking, and just stares."  Well, he's a right to be concerned 'cause she's known to have after affects of her mom being on meth while pregnant.  But...with a smile I said, "John, she's just sleepy."  And no sooner did he drop her in my lap but she conked off.  She slept on our bed for an hour.  Amazing.  She trusts us.

***

Let's end with another Alayna and ducks story.  Poor Alayna, outsmarted and tired, she just stands and pants.  She saw the ducks in the pond.  Ran up to one end "I getta duck!" The duck spies her and furiously swims to the opposite end.  They reach the same point at the same time, not to be caught, the duck jumps up, does a 180, jumps back in and furiously swins to where he started.  LOL, so fun to watch!  

And now, we end where we started, "Gasp, gasp!"