PIES ARE SQUARED

The son rose when the sun rose.  Well, one of them did, anyway.   And the one that did went to school.  Sons learn many things at school.  Most of it's good, some of it's not, and some gets misunderstood due to static on the lines of communication!

He came home and as typical parents do, "What did you learn at school today?"

Answer, "Pies are squared."

Huh?  Today must be one of those days where you had to "be there or be square" days.

"Pies are square?  I always truly believed pies are round!"  My mother made wonderful yellow lemon and vanilla custard pies.  Shoot, she made wonderful ANY pie!  My paternal grandmother would make eight pies for Sunday, one would be mince meat, the real mince meat with beef.  Every Christmas I scrounge around for at least one slice of mince meat pie; somewhere, someway I have to get one piece just to round out the season.  My sister makes the best crust of all the women in the world.  My maternal aunt made the most delicious raspberry pie for which your mouth could ever water.  Try emulating hers -- you can't.

But always, always, always the pies were round!

Try putting a pie on it's side, it'll roll just fine, I know I've seen Bugs Bunny do it.

Try putting a square pie on it's side.  Roll, thunk.  Roll, thunk.  Each time it thunks on a square corner all the little itty bitty berries squeal, "Ow, stop it.  Ow, stop it."  The littlest one clings to the crust trying not to land in a heap in the dust.

No, pies are round.

So, what are they teaching kids these days?  That's the cry heard all across America in the last 20 decades.  "What are they teaching kids these days?"

I know what they're teaching them, they're teaching them that pies are square.  And so are the parents!

Truly, if you want to know the measured area of a sweet crunchy pecan pie so you can divide it equally between you and your six siblings, a teacher would say first square the radius to get pi.

I've squared the radius.  I've leaned it in my favor.  I got the bigger piece of the pie.

It was an extra large triangle! Yum, yum!