AND THIS IS HOW YOU ROAST A PIG!

PIG  ROAST!

Let's have a pig roast!

Do you remember those old Dean Martin Roasts?  No?  Well the Dean Martin Celebrity Roast was TV specials hosted by entertainer Martin from '74 to '84.  For 10 years and 54 shows, Martin and friends would "roast" a celebrity.    That means treat the guest with humorous, tongue-in-cheek ridicule.

Let's not have a pig roast, let's roast a pig!

What's another name for pig?  COP!
Did you see the cop running downhill?  He was chasing a rolling donut!

What did Elvis have to say about the pig?  "You ain't nothing but a hound hog!"

What do you get when you drop a pig?  Pork Boing

**As Adam and Eve were in the garden of Eden, they could hear from the heavens a most melodious song, "Let there be pigs on earth, and let it begin with me...."

In the beginning when Eve was being formed, you could hear Adam exclaiming in the background, "But I don't have any spareribs!"

What happened when Noah realized his third son ate like a pig, he named him Ham!

What do you call wiener dogs doing undercover work?  Pigs in a blanket

Did you see all the pickled toes for sale in the deli?  "Those little piggies went to market..."

10 little piggies all in a bed, one rolled over and the other one said, "Roll over, roll over."  And they all rolled over and rolled over and rolled over, and the momentum of "roll over" had them all on the floor at once .... bacon bits!

**What do you call a Grade A cut of meat?  BACON!
What do you want for breakfast?  BACON!
What do you want for supper?  BACON!
What do you want for dessert?  BACON!
What do you call pork loin in the oven?  BACON!

**What do jig and pig have in common?  Bounce!
What is the difference between jig and pig?  The p j 's
What do cow and sow have in common?  4 legs and a tail!
What is the difference between cow and sow?  The fence!

**Cow had this to say, "As the story goes, Old McDonald had a farm, E, I, E, I, O.   Ho, ho!  As the favored heifer of the farm I grew up with the pig.  We're long time acquaintances the pig and I.  If she'd fall into the muck and mire and start squealing as pigs do, and wanting my help, the first thing she'd oink is, "I've fallen and I can't get up.  Where's the beef?"  

I'd moo on over to her and give support and cheer her on as best I could, "Little pig, little pig, let me in."  And she'd reply, "not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin."  Frustrated I say, "Root, hog!  Or die!"

Let me introduce myself,  I'm Bob, Bob Evans, from down on the farm.  
And this is how you roast a pig!"