DAY 4, TROUBLES ABOUND ON THE WAY DOWN

Day 4, Troubles Abound On The Way Down

The road, with its white-lined boundaries, curves through the smoking mountains of Tennessee, then winds out of sight in the bends ahead in the Carolinas, and teases you with familiarity as you get closer to Savannah, Georgia.   Heading for Tybee Island, the 5 of us are taking turns driving.

Twice other vehicles about cause us to wreck.  The worst was a black pickup coming from the left, pulling out in front of us, but Calvin skillfully swerved to his left, right down the center line to avoid any oncoming car.  It scared the wits out of us!  We thanked Calvin and God for our safety.

It bode of things to come.

The last time we went on vacation to San Juan, Puerto, Spencer got deathly sick.  As motivation to get well, I promised him a return trip to Tybee Island.  So, here we are ....

Ian calls.  "Momma, I'm on my way to Nikki".  Here I should tell you that Nikki is his girlfriend who's tending to our ducks and chickens in our absence.  "One of the neighbor's dogs got through their invisible fence and killed them."  Oh my lands!  All the ducks and chickens!!!  Nikki is a tender heart and I knew she'd need help.  So, I called the neighbor.  Mary called our young sister who went immediately over to comfort and assist since she could get there faster than Ian.  Turns out we only lost one chicken.  And though Nikki wasn't attacked, she was shook up.  She was okay.  We thanked one and all and God for his mercy.

Then the call of all calls.  Clinton sends us a Marco Polo which is like making a real-time video.  He says, "I did something really stupid and you get all week to guess what it is."

Good lands, we guessed anything from blowing a hose on the skid steer, to leaving the sun roof open during a rain storm, to jury duty call, to Cub Cadet axle won't fit, to re-welding his hurt finger, to again getting his wife pregnant.   Nope, none of those.

Finally, we beg for truth or hints.

He complies, "I was my own silencer.  I was checking my gun and taking pictures to sell it when I shot myself in the hand."  Heavens to Murgatroyd!!!!  Oh, my Lord!

We're in the grocery store buying milk and eggs for breakfast, I'm trying to find styrofoam bowls, and instant oats, but my mind is whacked out and my stomach is on the floor where my feet are trampling it to a pulpy red mess.  Can I come unglued and go scream in the parking lot right now?

Well, according to his wife, there's a hole in the bedroom wall and the outside siding is vacuous.  According to the policeman in the hospital room, "You can tell me.  Did your wife shoot you?"

Of course, she shot him.  Any woman who's witnessed the self-infliction of a gunshot wound to her bacon bringer is gonna be so hopping mad she'll shoot him herself!!!!  (Actually, she didn't shoot him, it's just something one would say figuratively, right?)

Then the policeman finishes, "I've never seen someone laughing and joking after a gunshot wound.  We've got 4 or 5 doctors here to see about you.  That's a pretty big bore to shoot yourself with!"

Clinton raises his hand, bandaged so thick it looks like Bam-Bam's club, and lays it on his right shoulder.  "I was told to keep it above my heart."

He sure has a lot of heart.  After shooting himself and wrapping it up, he and his wife went to look at a house for sale, then they went to the hospital, 4 hours later.  He still has feelings in all fingers, no torn ligaments, and only a fractured bone.  Thank the Good Lord and God for these blessings.

Next year when it comes time to go on vacation and John asks, "Honey, where do you want to go?  Want to go to Tybee?"  I'm gonna say, "Just take me to the hospital.  I'll wait there."