Daily deluge of duck slung water meant daily cleanings of their crate. Covered in wood shavings it had a red heat lamp and screened top for security. At the farm feed and seed store the clerk nabbed us six, 3 chicks and 3 ducklings.
One little chick in particular was constantly being nudged out of the way. Sometimes I put her in a bucket, complete with food and water, just her size. It was meant to give her an edge.
She got the edge alright! No bigger than a man's fist, and just 8 weeks old, I turned back to see a surprise for my eyes...this baby red chick was perched on the bucket's edge! Good lands! Where does this bit of a thing think she's going????? Wobble, wobble, flop.
They got too big for the garage. Their stench seeped through our house like a bomb fart in a grocery aisle. We built a chicken coop.
The fowl had a confab. They chattered, beak to bill, all about it. Ever seen a hen party? I'm not talking about grandmas and aunts and pretty young things gossiping about recipes, babies, and their messy hubbies, I'm talking about fowl chatter of cheeps and peeps, queggeggegging, over what terrible things "farmer" John dared to do.
Why, he made Big Mouth swim in the pond!
Then he stopped an eye to eye, beak to beak disagreement between Baby and Beaker!
And how dare he force Fat Betty to sit on a ladder rung!
These were all things to cluck and quack about as they clustered together while ruffling their feathers in resentment.
They can be dumb clucks.
Example, all the ducks and chickens were pecking in the leaves and brush except one. Ducky was periscoping his head inside the cage. We watched and laughed while this duck bobbed his head up and down as he went from side to side trying to get out. What's crazy was ... the door was open!
Another example, hearing a cacophony of quaking we looked out the window to see two ducks chasing Brother Big Mouth. Why? Why were they quacking and chasing and feet flying after Brother Big Mouth? He had a 4 inch worm swinging from his beak!
The chickens think if they can get their head and shoulders through a fence hole, their large butts must follow! Never. They just get stuck and cluck-cluck-cluck!
Since these fowls weren't imprinted by their parents they have to be taught to do some things.
We've held ducks over water to get them to paddle, they just flail frantically until they hit dry land.
"Farmer" John put the chickens in the top of the coop, parking their claw feet on the perching rungs, but Beaker, like an orange ball of fluff, let go and just bounced 2 levels to the bottom!
I made a visit back to the farm feed and seed store.
I told the clerk our predicament. He just smiled knowingly when I said,
"The chickens won't roost
and the ducks won't swim."
Can I have a refund?"
Hilarious! I wish we could have chickens. They are funny!
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