John's Funny, Caped Crusaders & Cats

       

Back in February of 2021, Clint sent us a Marco Polo, a phone video, of Miss Lilly, 4 years old, running around the house using a small red blanket as a cape, "I'm.  A.  SUPER HE-ro!"  Yes, in that sentence she paused at the periods, and raised her voice at the capitals.  Then, she'd twirl, then swoop and cover up her 2 year old brother Jacob, like he was a villain.  She raised up and told the world, "I'm a SUPER hero!"  Next thing you know, Jacob is trying his best to put on a cape, too, just like big sis.

Well, later that evening, Clint came over to borrow John's truck, trailer, and skid steer.  Silly goose, he's forgotten how it is in our neck of the woods with a long driveway and swirling drifted snow here and there, and ... ta-da ... he got stuck.  He opened the driver's door and stepped out of his truck to investigate.  John opened the front door and stepped out of the house to instigate.

"You shouldn't have left your Super Heroes at home!"

Later that summer I contemplated our bird bath.  It's been a source of joy.  At home, growing up on the farm, mom had a huge pale blue birdbath in the backyard, and I have no clue where it came from.  Sis had one with a pedestal fish whose bowl broke, and we could never find a replacement.  Ours is perfect size for me to handle.  I can tip it to dump old water or fall leaves.  I can move it around if it settles.  Every few years it needs glued, and ALWAYS the grandkids need shooed!

Rusty has taken to laying it on its side when he arrives.  That sure does save a lot of worry since the grandkids not only like to play in the water, but it's short enough that they can put their weight on it and topple it -- right onto their toes!

I do love watching the birds splash and roll in the water.  Sometimes one will sit on the edge and keep watch while a mate will flutter wings and dip head to get a good wash.

Then there's Piper.  Piper, our black outdoor cat, likes to precariously sit with 4 feet tight together and sip.  I asked John, "Why is she drinking out of the birdbath when her fresh water is right here?"

He laughed, "Cause it tastes delicious.  It tastes like bird."

🎵"CHRISTMAS TIME IS HERE, "GOOGLE MAPS!" 🎵 🎶

Remember the old Charlie Brown Christmas animation on television?  We all do.  The first line or so of the theme song Christmas Time Is Here says "Happiness and Cheer", right?  Well, that was what I was going for when I searched high and low for my stash of CD's, happiness and cheer.

Here's a tip for old age:  don't relocate household items.

You're just too old to remember to where you re-located them!  I'm not kidding.  I have proof.  Clinton, even AFTER he moved out into his new home, complained, "34 years of living here with the pots and pans on the lazy Susan and you move them out and move in the cereal!"

Darling Hubby says, after living here for 37 years, "Where do you keep the scissors?'  Seriously?!

So after being exasperated at myself, having looked in the usual places, the unusual places, the places it makes sense such as next to the stereo system or the undercounter CD player, I still couldn't find my Christmas CD's!  And it's no small stash, there's 20.  I had cleaned that drawer and moved them.   Finally, I confessed to Darling Hubby, who I now know understands this phenomenon,  "I can't find my Christmas CD's.  I moved them."

Instantly, he moaned, "Oh, Lord, don't do that!"

 🎵 Happiness and Cheer, LOL 🎶

         🎵 Carols everywhere 🎶

This Christmas, the tree in the attached photograph, is UP on the piano.  It's a must.  Jacob who just turned two is one of the terror twins.  He has a cousin Noelle, and the two of them work together.  One stands at the fence that keeps them from the pond, while the other carries over rocks to be tossed over the fence into the water.  They both pause to watch this miracle of splash and disappearance.

On his own, Jacob can heave any toy he doesn't want to play with over his shoulders.  And if Santa Claus should not be resting in the wooden engine of that green & red train because other things belong there, Santa gets ripped out!

So, the tree, which would be fully investigated otherwise, is UP on the piano.  Can you hear his little boy voice saying "Wha-s -at?"  And down would come the ornament that had taken his fancy ... with the tree!

🎵  "Fun for all that children call 

            their favorite time of year" 🎶

I went upstairs to ask John a question, relaying it from an Oklahoma friend that was on the phone waiting for an answer.  When I open the door, John is standing next to his dresser putting his right leg into a pair of navy blue slacks, but he chuckles and teases me, 

"I'm nekkid!, does that........"  

Quickly, I turned the phone to my shoulder to muffle the speaker and tried to diffuse with my words.

"JOHN!  No, you're not, you're just changing clothes.  I've got my friend on the phone.  You're glad to know that, right?"

He sobers up, "Right."

🎵 And joyful memories there 🎶

      🎵Beauty everywhere 🎶

We were on our way south, an hour and a half drive, to visit a sick cousin.  The sights were beautiful, air-filled Frosty taller than a house, nativity scenes in the front yards, baubles and lights on outdoor evergreen trees, mailboxes bedecked with poinsettias and flowing ribbons, and amber studded trees with Christmas lights were shining through living room windows.  One even had Santa trepidaciously climbing a chimney.  Even the vehicles passing by were sporting big red bows on their grills, red nose and antlers on SUVs, and lit Christmas wreaths on car noses. 

Well, the motion of the truck, the sound of vehicles tires slapping on the interstate, and the relaxation of nothing needing to be done, and the pleasantry of it all lulled me into slumber.   I wasn't deep into sleep. But I was far gone.  Very near there.  Breathng slow.  Muscles relaxed.  Head drooping to chest.  Thoughts getting mushy going into nothingness.

"GOOGLE MAPS!"

I came unglued.  "Google maps?!  Why'd he just yell?"  My heart picked up speed, my head rose from my chest, my mind was stricken and I cried, "What!  What, John, what?  Google maps?"

Darling dear hubby John, (who just then barely missed being on the 5 o'clock news) had picked up his phone to use his GPS to make sure we were on the right track.  

"I'm gonna put him on the right track!  I'm gonna tie him up right there next to Penelope Pitstop, I am!"

Can I say "Slay bells in the air", now, now spell it right s, l, e, i, g, h.

🎵Sleigh bells in the air🎶

🎵Such spirit in the year🎶

Well, Christmas time is here, it's time for happiness and cheer

If no one has said it to you yet,  "May you be blessed with a Merry Christmas."

CUZ AND THE CHRISTMAS TREE

 

"Cuz!  They bombed the house!  I thought you said this would be an easy gig.  There's nothing easy 'bout me being the Christmas Tree!  I got chopped off at the ankles, man, I'm shooting splinters."

"And now they've gone and bombed the house!"

O Christmas Tree was being plunked out on the Kimball piano by one of those "darlings."

The living room window was propped open.  The Christmas Tree stood against the far living room wall.  Cousin, or Cuz, as Christmas Tree calls him, stands a few feet away, rooted and grounded just outside the open window.  

"The missus of the house couldn't take it; she hollered for fresh air.  Someone's a real stinker, going around leaving fart bombs!  Between you and me, after she sprayed that Evergreen Air Freshener, which doesn't smell like me at all, it didn't fix it -- it still smells like someone took a poop in the woods."

"Hey, Cuz, I can't look up, what's that atop my crown?  Something up there's giving me a glow.  I feel a sunburn coming on!"

"What, whatdya say?   I've a shining light?  Like the one on Chrismtas night?  Whoo-hoo, I'M A STAR!" 

"Got to entertain myself, you know.  Long days and long nights, picture perfect, glowing bright -- bo-or-ring.  So I'm making up lyrics, changing words to "O Tannebaum".  Tannebaum.  It sounds like another stinker, you know, Tannen Bomb, get it, bomb?  Ha, ha. ha."

 "Oh, here I stand, as tall as I can, from bough to bough, stretched wall to wall. 

Erect and straight, over 6 feet high, in the living room I'm left to die.

Oh, here I stand, in this metal pan, being scared by the ceiling fan.

Oh, swish and swish, and slurp and suck, what is that at my stubby trunk?"

"Whoa!  Here he comes!  Big and bounding!   Black, and four feet pounding!  A mass of wiggling fur.  Eek, that dog's slurping my water!   Oh, if only I could shake a stick.   Here comes his master, too, a tween, "Zeke, quit drinking that tree's water!   Stop!  Now, you're making tracks with your feet!"  Zeke, with all his body's strength, pulls against the tween.  As he's being dragged out of the room, he eyeballs the tree, suspecting not all is as it seems.

"Hey, Cuz, when a dog drinks from the tree stand, enough to fill him up, what's it called?  It's called a Liquidation Tail." 

"Liquidation Tail, get it, hardy, har-har-har!"

"As for that cat, I wish she wouldn't come near me, too bad she's not afraid of my bark!"  Tree chuckled.  "Every time she claws up my spine, I get the shivers, then down come the pine needles and out comes the vacuum."

"The other day the 3 y.o. asked the missus, "What happens to the spiders when they get sucked into the sweeper?"  She answered, "They Dyson."

"Ha, ha, ha, wait a minute, wait a minute, quit tickling me, ha, ha, haaaa......"

"Help, Cuz!  There's something tickling me.  Lean with the breeze, will ya.  Whatdya see?  What is it?"

"Shew, I thought it might be another spider.  It's a red-clad toddler grabbing one of the ornaments.  That's  what you call a bell ringer!" 

"His mom'll get him.  You just watch.  Yep.  There he goes high in the sky in her arms and the jingle-jangle is hooked back on my branch.  Ew-hoo, that tickles."

"Cuz, do you know which is my favorite candy?  Oh, you've heard this one before, yep, it's orna-mints."

"Ha, ha, ha, if I could I'd shake, rattle, and roll with my laughter, there'd be needles enough for every acupuncturist in China.  I hear Wuhan could use a few, too!"

"Did you know when they cut my feet off, and brought me here to this house of boys and toys, the first thing they did was lean me with my face against the wall.  It was so uncomfortable!   Thankfully, there wasn't any plaque on the wall.  Must've been built by the inventer of the toothbrush."

"And did my face get plastered!"

"Oh, no!  Oooof!  I'm being punched in the gut --- "Ooof!"  Oh, good lands, here he comes again, "Ooof!"  I'm silently screaming.  Screaming for his mother.  "Stop this human canon ball!"

"Cuz, Cuz, Cuz!  Do you see this?  That wild toddler is running into me.  Here he comes again, ooof!  All the glass ornaments are tinkling, the bells are jingling, the baubles are clanking against each other.  I think this kid wants to be the tree!  Ooof."

"I'll try to stop him.  I'll wrap my branches around his little tummy the next time he comes tackling like me like a football dummy."

"When this gig is over, and I'm shaved into a pencil, I'm gonna write Dummy In the Tree by Whu Hung Bruce."

"Maybe I'll write two books, Cat In The Tree Top by Clawed Barque!  Ha, ha, ha."

"Ah, Christmas is almost over, the bells and candy canes and ornaments can't be hanging 'round anymore." 

"I can't hang around either.  Hard telling what the missus'll do to me," Christmas Tree thought on this, as he leaned and listed a bit, and started to doze.  He could see it was getting dusk.

"Hey Cuz, are you still awake?   What happens to me when I'm taken down?  What do you mean, I don't want to know?".

"You say I'll go out in a blaze of glory?  Oh, boy, yay.  

"And I'll get my own little boat?  Oh, boy, oh boy, a toy."

 "What are you talking  'bout, Cuz, cremation, non-smoking, or smoking? 

"A viking funeral!  AAAAAaaaaaagh!  "Say it isn't so!"  And Tree woke with a rustling shiver     and jerked wide awake to the dawn of the new day.

"Shew, thankfully that fire pyre was just a dream!"

The piano was playing, again.  We Wish You A Merry Christmas tune was filling the room.  Presents were pushed and shoved under the tree.  Some mini gifts were nestled in the branches with giggles and glee.  The missus and hubby and little darlings were dressed ever so festively.   

And there was the littlest darling, with glitter around his little rosy lips.  "Hey, he's eating a red sparkly orb!" With ever so much effort, and the last vestige of energy, Christmas Tree gently shook the branch that held a jingle bell.  It's tinkle drew startled eyes.  "Darling" dropped the orb.  Mom and Dad bustled to his rescue.

"Cuz was right, this gig was easy.  Being a Christmas Tree came with a sense of purpose, and joy, too."

"Now, just where is that other little "darling", the stinker.  Gotta watch out for those bombs!"

 

Let's Talk Turkey!

Turkey talk!  Didn't someone already say they bought their turkey for Thanksgiving?  Last night when we went to Aldi, I had every intention of buying a turkey but forgot.  Didn't have it on my list.  My lists are important, my brain is full, like a computer that needs to clear its cookies, LOL.  But, forget the cookies, let's talk turkey! 

When we went to Nashville there was a merchantile store at the top of the hill called Gobbler's Knob.  Didn't see any turkeys though, so why was it called Gobbler's Knob?  If you ever hear a male turkey with puffed up feathers, they make a strange sound....it's like a puff of air from an old putt-putt tractor mixed with a audio of humpth.

My brother Andy, had one he called Tom.  When I first heard that puffphth sound, I didn't know what I was hearing.  Didn't realize that it came from a turkey.  He was a pushy old bird.  He'd come up to see what you were all about, and if he had a notion he'd get aggressive.  You didn't turn your back on ol' Tom.

Wild turkey's inhabit French Lick, Orange County, Indiana.  You can actually spy a wild turkey there; I did, sort of.  Game hunters go there during turkey season.   I read a quote about Orange County, "Great hunting for deer, and morel mushrooms and turkey."  At French Lick we were riding the Scenic Railroad Train when I heard a loud eye-popping sound.  The windows of the old red car's side doors were open.  The train had come to a stop so it could reverse and go back to the station.  So, I could hear plainly through the windows what sounded like a bowling bowl being heaved through piles of autumn leaves.  "What's that?"  I asked the official standing nearby.  With a smile, the conducter tour guide said, "Wild turkey.  They fly through the trees."  I think my eyes got even bigger!

And that's turkey talk.  Unless you'd like to know the deacon of our church was raised on a turkey farm.  He says he got in trouble with his teacher.  She asked the class to color the fingers of their hands' outlines with various colored crayons to make turkeys.  He said, 'But turkeys are white."  

Yep.  We've all gotten in trouble with the teacher when we express our superior knowledge, right?

So, Thanksgiving is over.  The turkey, after filling us each with tryptophan for sleep, now resides in the refrigerator, all bones and no meat.  

He's chilled.  He can't talk.  If he could, he might warn, "Don't trust your online followers when they say they want you over for dinner!  Quit social media!  Be like me, go cold turkey!"  

"I'm So Thankful" Dad Took Us to Many Historical Sites

"I'm So Thankful"

As the last couple of days of November get used up by time, I thought of the theme of the month, thanksgiving.

We were all raised with the notion that Thanksgiving Day began with the Pilgrims and Indians.  We were taught, "38 settlers from the ship Margaret, which landed in Virginia, immediately held a religious celebration, specifically dictated by the group's charter from the London Company. The charter declared, "that the day of our ships arrival at the place assigned for plantation in the land of Virginia shall be yearly and perpetually kept holy as a day of thanksgiving to Almighty God."

Well, thanks be to you, dear God.  I appreciate the bounty - my girth declares it so, too, LOL.

Everyone indulges in the seasons harvest with gusto and thanks - turkey (or ham for the dissenting), sweet potatoes (or yam for the persnickety), carrots and corn, fish, pumpkin and squash, and much more.  Ne'er forget the much appreciated follow-up naps.  

I just read that "early settlers hollowed out pumpkins, filled the shells with milk, honey, and spices to make a custard, then roasted the gourds whole in ashes."  That may not be pie, but still sounds good to me, gobble, gobble!

So today, in reflection, for what am I grateful?

My true choice is modern conveniences.  

It started with the television.  Being a sickly child I used the distraction of a television show to pass the time.  My very earliest memory is of crying at the end of a movie where Jesse James and his girlfriend got killed.  Then there was the shock of the black and white sci-fi shows on Saturday, especially Tarantula.  "More terrifying than any horror known to man" it screamed in white words from the black screen.

As Dad took us to many, many historical sites over the years of our youth, I began to appreciate other modern conveniences.

We went to Lincoln's birthplace, and childhood home, of dirt floors.                                   

Gag, choke, wheeze.  Give me laminated hardwoods and a good Swiffer.  

On to the Stephen Foster Story performance and his home where there were fireplaces in every room and heating the beds with warming pans of hot coals.                                             

Shiver my bones, and foggy breath, no thank you!  Electric baseboard heaters clicking away makes my night and day.

A fourth grade tour of Conner Prairie Pioneer Settlement showed that they made candles in an outbuilding, and hung meat to cure in a smokehouse.  Conner, a wealthy businessman and landowner, had a huge house and servants, but I prefer Sam Walton, creator of the Wal-Mart selling Yankee Candles, and Tyson meats - his department store!

As me and my siblings aged into teenagers, to Washington D.C. and all its museums we went.  One display was of president's wives dresses.  They had whole lines of tiny buttons down the backside, they required a maid with a handy dandy button puller. 

Unt-uh, Muumuus for mom and sweatpants for me, thank you!

A later trip to Jamestown Settlement, revealed they had poor drinking water and a man died from a ball bearing type bullet wound.  Please, give me a reverse osmosis filtration system!  Come on, let's get sophisticated and use big words!  You can't get more handy than purified bottled water, either!

And one of the final trips was to Florida, Oglethorpe's monument.  We learned Oglethorpe wanted to make life better for convicts and debtors in England, and created a colony in Savannah for them to do so. "Not for self, but for others"  was their motto.   

That's me, I'm part of "others" and I'm thankful to live in the 21th century of ...  ready?  you can hear my answer, can't you?  ... modern conveniences.

Yes.  The clothes washer and dryer rumbling downstairs, the dishwasher singing the end of its cycle, and the electric clock alarming "time to wake up" are all things for which to be thankful, I think.

I think I may want to lay here a bit longer to enjoy last days of November under my electric blanket with my coffee on a warming pad.  

Ah, my pillow top mattress is so cush, another modern convenience, for sure.   I'm so thankful, "zzzzzzzzzzzzz."

I'm Buying My Own Gumballs, TWICE!

  

I'm buying my own gumballs, twice!

Oh, you wanna know what I'm talking about?  Well, let's begin this tale of Miss Lilly and her pennies.

A couple years ago, when Miss Lilly was a new toddler I discovered she liked "money."  That's what she called pennies, or any coins.  When I knew she was coming over I would make a little pile of 6 to 10 or more on the second step.  They were for her to drop into my piggy bank.  Kids can sit on one step, and use the next step up as a table.  It was just a quiet little bonding thing we did.

She toddles over to the step, looks up at me with sweetness in her face, and I placatingly pull down plastic pig.  This is one of our moments.

The piggy bank for pennies is pink clear plastic with 4 slots labeled save, invest, spend, and donate.  There are two more banks, minion banks, those yellow Dispicable Me characters -- one is smaller, Stuart, a one-eyed Minion, the other one is larger, Dave.

In those four Dispicable Me movies, Stuart dreams others are bananas and tries to eat them.  But really he prefers to chill with his ukulele.  Dave, his friend, is accident prone but kind and funny.  The smaller bank is for quarters, the larger one is for nickels and dimes.  They bear a post-it note that says "Feed Me". 

Why?  Because I want to go on vacation and change means financial independence for visiting vending machines, a quick purchase at a flea market, or bargaining for dollars at the cashier's counter.  Everyone wants change these days.  There's a shortage, they say.

Anyway, Jayden and Alayna have discovered this little occurance of piled coins on the step.  They like to join in.  Miss Lilly thinks the "money" is,  "All mine"!  But quickly caves because she really doesn't mind sharing and she likes playing with her cousins.

Then Jayden, the oldest of them all, discovered I had hidden behind John's recliner a gumball machine.  It's as tall as Jayden with black stand and red case around glass orb hoarding green and red gumballs.   Oh, yum, his eyes plead while his tongue licks!

One day he came in all excited, poked his little skinny fingered hand into his pocket, pulled it out, raised it high, two fingers pinching copper, "I have a penny!"  

"Good for you, Jayden, you found a penny."

Well, he wasn't saving it for the banks, he'd come to twist the delivering knob on the my gumball machine for something juicy sweet!  

I'd had the gumball machine a whole year, from when Spencer gave it to me for a Christmas gift.  But they've just recently discovered it.  It's so much fun.

Sometimes when Jayden comes in the first thing he asks me is "Do you have any money?"

Alayna bounces in, sidles up beside him, jumping up and down, "I want one, too, Jayden!  I want one, too, GrammyPam!"  Of course, I cave.  I can't resist a toddler.

Little Jacob who just turned two, isn't allowed pennies.  He ate one at home, the goose.

 

Noelle, has no interest.  She's got other things to do and prefers to mosey with a little pink stroller pushing a baby doll through the hall.

Well, this gumball machine is cornered.  Seriously, it's where two walls meet in the living room, hid behind the blue recliner, like I said, with the couch on the other side.  The kids have to crawl over the couch armrest and fall down into the cavity that makes up that corner.

It's good for 'em.  It quietly uses up their time.  They have to exert energy.  They have to share space with each other.  They have to use their brains and body to figure out how to get out.  

Jayden just hoists himself up and over.  The little ones crawl on the floor between couch and recliner.  But poor Alayna, Sunday when she climbed back there, she couldn't figure out how to get out, "Help!"  And, from the other room you could hear her feet hitting the floor and her body thudding against the recliner.  She'd forgotten how to get out, or in her growth spurt

all things, muscles, tendons, and synopsis, weren't coordinated yet.

But have you noticed?  Have you put it together?  

I buy the gumballs.  Then I buy them again.

"WHOO-HOO, BIRTHDAY CREW! LET'S GO TO NASHVILLE!"

Skeletons everywhere! 

Why were they "Up On The Roof"? 

Because they didn't want to be in the cemetery as part of the "Grateful Dead", ha,ha!

We went to Nashville, Indiana, to Brown County, the chosen destination for my yearly birthday trek.  Brown County's website says, "Unplug from daily life and reconnect with one another as you experience the rustic beauty and artisanal charm -- a place that celebrates its past. Plan your escape today."  And we did.

Whoo-hoo, I've found a new birthday crew!  They want to go back next year, too!

It was hubby and I, Spencer and his girlfriend, Caroline, and Ian and his girlfriend, Nikki.

It was a bit chilly in October.  In front of the Brown County Playhouse, strewn with golden red and orange leaves, a white shirted skeleton sat amongst the supports of a sidewalk billboard.  I guess he was resting his aching bones. 

Skelly and his boney dog greeted us waving an empty "Hello", chuckle.

"My turn," I said, "Let's go to the Holly Jolly shop!" 

"Nikki won't like it," said Ian. "But she does want to go to the leather shop."

"Caroline will love it," said Spencer, "she loves Christmas as much as I do.  That's where I got the idea for the upside down tree, isn't it, Mom?"  And off we went to the Holly Jolly christmas Shop.

"Here Spencer, here's an ornament for your tree." 

He said, "Oh, yah, you're right about that!"

We had our backs to each other, he was admiring an ornament hanging on the shop wall of a teal camper with a red Santa stepping outside its door.  I was looking at a Christmas ornament hanging on the post.  It was a completely studded circle of rhinestones with a large stone on top.  It reminded me of a key ring Calvin gave me for Christmas one year. 

I tucked my hand under the ring and slightly lifted it so it wouldn't come off the nail, but I could still take a photo.

"Spencer.  Here's an engagement ring for your tree."  

 I caught Caroline's eye, she winked, we both laughed.  He still didn't have a clue it was a diamond ring with lots of innuendo.

We turned a corner and one of them spied a nutcracker that sits on his rump with his legs hanging over the shelf, very unusual.  Holly Jolly wasn't as popular as the Men's Toy Shop (guns and accessories) but they still enjoyed it. 

I also think the Leathers Shop was one of the top ten.  This "crew" are all bikers and they love a good biking jacket.

Oh, oh, oh, and The Wild Olive where you can get any flavored oil imaginable, even from around the world like Spain, Itally, and Greece, was a favorite.  I found a nice Christmas gift for our Greek brother-in-law -- Koroneiki extra virgin olive oil.

A hostess in the shop told us about each choice, and even gave verbal recipes to go along with it.  One recipe was easy to remember, and sounded very gourmet.  She claimed she didn't like to stand and cook, but Spencer was intrigued and willing to go home and try it.  

On the sidewalk as we retraced our steps, a "Just Married" couple sat at the entrance of a shop.  They were so skinny.  She dressed in white gown and veil, and he decked out in black and top hat.  Sadly, they were nothing but bones!

As we left, John had to pat the groom on the shoulder.  I don't know if he was saying,  "Bless your cold heart" or "Be sure to always love her -- love every bone in her body" or "You have my sympathies, Bro.  Good bye and have a good day."

It was fun.  It was a great day to remember.  They were all smiles, they had fun, too.  How do I know, because they said so.  They want to go back next year.  Like I said, "Whoo-hoo I've found a new birthday crew!"

STEAM CORNER & COVERED BRIDGE - PART 2

 

Barricaded by split rail fences, the first covered bridge on the road to Parke County Covered Bridge Festival is set back off the road, red, and blocked by the admission's office.

After we asked the tall bald gentleman coming from touring it, "Do you know of a good place to eat?" he answered, "Benjamin's, west, down the hill, in the bottoms" and he laughed, "I'll probably see you there."  And we did.

The hub of the festival, downtown Rockville, was where we met a woman who just wanted to talk.   "By the way, my name is Janie, and that's my husband sitting there in that red SUV sleeping."  Janie recommended the shop behind her as she was telling us about other places.  By the time we parted ways, 40 minutes later, we knew so much about her, I could fill a book! 

We knew her last name, where she lived, who they were suing, her medical history, where they worked, what they're doing in retirement, and oh, by the way, we know the deacons of your church.  You're kidding me!  At one point she did stop to take a breath to ask, "Who are you?"

Then it was, "Oh, and we know your brother, too!" 
"Yes, we know the Pruitts.  And we know Leeman's.  Nice people."

Never in my life, no matter what doctor we saw or what appointments we kept or what grief group we joined, we've NEVER met anyone with Arnold-Chiari Malformation.  But...this lady has it.  She told us so before we told her about Mitch.  At 74 years old, and because of this malformation, she has unpredictable muscle cramps, and shooting pains in her bandaged arm.  Her fingers were bound due to arthritis but she walked with alarcity and talked with gusto!  

A hundred miles from home and we found out she lives 20 miles from us!  It makes you believe, "It is a small world after all."

"Let me tell you about our daughter before you go."  I had to laugh and John had to cut it short.

 
On the corner of Virginia St. a brick building housed everything priced so high that I saw the same things 6 years ago.  First room glassware, second room Christmas, third room furniture, back exit hall a woman sitting for a spell and a cry.  

She had just disassmbled a whole house that's contents would've rivaled all the things she'd just seen.  She bemoaned her throwing money away, and was meloncholy over the memories. Said she'd had all she could take and was just waiting for "the others."

Food sheds at the festival - a plethora of choices -  pork chops, pumpkin butter, apple cider slushies, crullers, rib eye steak sandwiches, and ham and beans.  Not 1, but 4, vats of the ham and beans boiled over open fires for the women's booth.  Probably each was about 25 gallons!  Next morning a gravy bowl breakfast.  "Yum" for DH, but not me, the thought gave me "rumblies in the tumblies".

An under-the-tent booth looked like a man was wearing a fox stole?  NO!  It was a compliant dog named...STELLA!

An old crone manning a cash box at the other breakfast booth yelled, "Can we sell just one biscuit?  How do I do that?"

I could tell you of 3 cops on the corner with a golf cart, a combine going through downtown, and the woman that started up someone else's race car for us and even drove it through the tourist infested streets! 

There was so many encounters with peoples that I can tell you way more than those!

There was the table of raunchy men and women drinking beer and telling porn jokes which needs washed out of my mind!  

At the restaurant, 2 men and 1 woman, and she was so particular with the waitress I'd have been hard put to be as nice to her.  After the food came, she (predictably) sent hers back ... for a shot of heat!

The white jeaned, black cropped haired lady was parked at the end of a hall "Watch your step!"

A broken toothed middle-aged gal said, "The boss is gone.  I can do what I want now."  And she swiveled her head looking out for him!

And we can't forget the tiny toddler girl dressed as a orange pumpkin.  She was tied to mom with a blue harness.  She planted her feet, faced away from mom, "No!" 

I so wanted to take her picture!

Then there was the viking-like woman displaying 18 card tables worth of stuff who'd been going to the Tri-State Gas Engine show for 21 years, our favorite spot every August.

 "I'll see you there next year," she waved good-bye.  

"No doublt we will!"

It's like the guy said on the Oprah Show, who randomly threw a dart at a chart of attendees in the audience, "No matter what seat this lands on, she'll have a story.  Everyone does."

People watching.  They each have a story, and are so interesting!

STEAM CORNER & COVERED BRIDGE - PART 1

October!

Fall break week!

Birthday at the end of the week!

What a happy time-spanning streak!

And DH, Darling Hubby, wanted to go camping.  The school was closed for fall break so he was free.  Very quickly, quite impromptu, he said, "Let's go to Steam Corner.  We can take in the Covered Bridge Festival while we're close."  Oh, wow.  Okay, I wasn't expecting that.  Off we went. 

First stop, lunch in Lebanon, at Backroads BBQ.  Table tops covered with their logo and cut outs of pink pigs, and signs that said "Got BBQ?"  It smelled of sticky sweet, grease, yeast, and light beer.

We shouldn't have been surprised at the quietness of Steam Corner, a campsite and flea market, it was the middle of the week afterall.  Besides, they'd had a rain storm the night before so vendors were in recovery mode -- reaching up to reattach their canopies, laying down cardboard for shopper's feet, dumping vintage blue bowls of rainwater, and pulling wheeled riding toys and hand carts back out of the mud.

After settling in, we hooked up the water and electric, and leveled the camper, then took off walking, hand in hand.  A red mini-covered bridge with a plastic mallard duck attached to the outside wall brought you from one side of the campground to the other, crossing Prairie Creek.

The busy-busy gal at a kids sale wailed about why she had so much stuff and what the others had done to her that she couldn't give it away, so ...she was selling it. Turns out she'd bought 30 totes of things to give kids for Christmas but other charities and churches interferred so she "couldn't even give it away."  It was 10 items for $1.  I restrained.  No kids here.

By now, we need supper, so we asked the gal at the kids sale where was the best food.  She directed us to Crabby Mike's Food Truck. 

The guy at the food vendor truck told us ingredient by ingredient how he made his potato salad and his sloppy joes and where he sells, and what his plans are for the winter.  Yes!  HIs food was good.  Tasted almost like my mother's cooking.  Upon further investigation, he (the vendor) and she (my mother) were both of German descent.  Now, the mental puzzle pieces fit!  You know, why did they taste alike, the two weren't related, nor were their last names anything alike and they didn't grow up in the same areas.  Voilá, they were of German descent!

Out of there and on the way to the Covered Bridge Festival we were enticed by a very large yellow sign "Antiques and Barn Sale".  The tall skinny old dude had 2 barns and a two story house full of antiques, a yard full of wrought iron items like gates, and wind churns, and flower basket holders.  His garage sale was of dish sets, and an old Nash green car covered in 10 years of dust.  But he wasn't willing to sell anything!  He was more interested in eating his soup and talking to his black kitty-kitty.  No, he hadn't given her a name.  He just called her kitty-kitty.  He was also more interested in telling about how he built his house from scratch, including the cobble stone floors.

And about bringing in a triple-sized Fosteria punch bowl from Ohio.  Talking, braggin, content, and story-telling was more to his liking.

It was too dark in there for me.  All very intriguing, I liked the visit, but the smell of wood mingled with old fabric, the Campbell's Noodle Soup, and dirt and dust, made my olfactory senses feel a need of cleansing.  Ah, fresh air.

Speaking of cleansing, a good baptizing, and a come to Jesus meeting, I was surprised at the name of a grave site.  Sitting at the intersection at the top of the hill next to a pristine white steepled church it was.  Bonebrake Cemetery.  What a name!

Back to camp.  The next day, after a good night's sleep in the camper, we'd head to Parke County Covered Bridge Festival, all part of a happy birthday week, er, fall break ...

THIS MORNINGS ESCAPADE, EMERGENCY EVACUATION

DarlingHubby handing food to the needy.

"Ri-i-i-ing, ri-i-i-ing"

"Hello, good morning."

"Hello, I gotta tell ya about this morning's escapade."  It was Darling Hubby, jubilant, saying he had a story to tell.  When I saw his number on the cell phone screen I thought it unusual for him to call at this time of day.  He must've had a few free minutes between his bus route and his mail run.

Everyday, after picking up kids, he picks up the mail from each of the school buildings, takes it to the administration office, sorts it, then distributes back to each of the school buildings.   

There was another noise in the house besides that "ri-i-i-ing", I'd set a timer for my reading assignment.

"Okay, give me a minute, I wanna shut off my beeper.  Go ahead."

"Today, here at the elementary school it's Emergency Evacuation of the Buses Day.  I told the kids last week, on Monday.  I wasn't supposed to, but I did anyway, I told them we'll be having an Emergency Evac on Wednesday."

"Harper and Emmy, a couple of my kindergarten kids, were scared."

Ever since Darling Hubby retired from his career job and became a part-time worker driving a school bus he calls the students "my kids".  He really, truly feels that way; says they are his merchandise and he has to "get them from point A to point B safely and intact".  

He said, "I told [Harper and Emmy] this'll be fun."

They cried, "Oh, noooo." and "Ew, boo hoo."

The high school guys who always sit at the back of the bus were given the job of seeing that everyone got off safely, especially the blind girl, Macy.  They opened the back door, turned the 5 gallon bucket upside down, (it had served as a trash can), used it as a step, and quickly ushered everyone off.

"Macy nearly fell off the bucket but the guys caught her.  I patted her on the back.  She did a good job."

"We have 2 minutes but we got off in just over 1 minute!  We were the fist ones done."

I said, "That's great!  Congratulations!"

"Sherry, a first year bus driver, complained, "Hey, he used a bucket!"

"The boss said, "We-ell...."

"I reminded him, "You said use whatever you have, so I did.  He agreed."

"So I gave all my kids high fives!  We do this once in the fall and once in the spring." 

I asked, "What happened with Harper and Emma, the scared young 'uns?"

He laughed, "
They were excited, "That was fun!  Can we do it again?"

.   

"MAYBE HE COULD TRY IT JUST THIS ONCE WITH THE BRUSH"

He just stood there.  

He was concentrating on his work.

His right hand supporting himself on the tank, his left hand wielding the tool.

It's a new word to him, tool.

When he first learned to speak the word tool it came out toot-al.  But he's since learned to speak it properly.

The door had been almost shut, just slightly ajar.  I'd missed him.  His energy, his chatter, so I went looking for him.  Pushing the door ever so gently open, I spied him before he spied me.

The tool was in mid-air but you could see exactly what he'd been doing.  It was dripping with water.  How he  himself didn't get wet, I don't know, that's a mystery.

With the lid up and out of the way, the ring was dripping with water.  You've seen cakes where the baker slowly and steadily pours glaze on the center of the top layer and it drizzles down the sides? 

Well, this toilet ring had water drizzles, they pooled and made droplets, hanging onto the rim.  It was quite pretty, like winter ice holding sunshine to glisten, to make your eyes happy they saw them.

I couldn't say little Jacob was happy to see me.  He was startled.  His eyes got big.  His body did a twitch.  His brain knew this wasn't something he was allowed to do.  But, he'd seen his mother do it.  At GrammyPam's house maybe he could try it just this once with the toilet bowl brush.

The only word ever spoken between us was a stern reprimand, "JACOB!" 

As fast as I've ever seen, the toilet brush got briskly shoved into it's holder. The hands went down to his side.  He was ushered out the door.  His cheeks were flushed.

We each understood the other.  He understood it wasn't something he was allowed to do.  I understood he was a boy needing to learn about the world, and that his needs and can't-dos were battling.  Still the mess was mine to clean up.  It was necessary that I won.  After-all, I was the bigger of the two ...  heading to the super bowl.

Handling A Hungry Man, Uh, Men, Uh, Grandson, Too!

There are sayings around our house that emerged from the boys' growing years.  One is "I'm as hungry as I ever been."  

Really?  Well, hello there, Mr. Hungry.

Another, and this isn't mispelled, "Are you hangry?  Huh, huh, huh, are you hangry?"  This was 20 years ago before it was ever said on television.  And in response to someone that was so hungry they were angry, too.

In the early days, this from a TV commercial, they would bandy about, "I need a Hungry Man meal!"  Chuckle, get out the meat and potatoes, and super-size it!

And more recently, just a couple months ago, two of 'em called me on the phone as they were headed here,  "Do you have something cooked, or do I need a drive-thru?"  

I think that was blackmail.

Seriously, am I "chief cook and bottle washer?"  And that one was from Dad.  He brought it home from being in the army in the 1950's.

To be more current, though, I have to tell you about grandson Jacob.

Master Jacob wanders into the kitchen and comes out with food!  Something in each hand!  Where he gets it is a mystery.  No one else was in the kitchen.  There was no food setting out.  We hadn't had a meal in there in 4 hours or more.  

With food in each hand, and a big desire to pick up a Hot Wheels car, it was a struggle, and a problem to be solved -- you could read it on his face.  One hand held on tight to the food while it struck out for balance and the other hand popped its food into his bulging cheeks then ... he reached down to pick up the toy.  

Mom says he's discovered that if he gets into the bread drawer he can shake a loaf of bread until it pops open so he can have a slice.  I keep telling her she's got a boy and he's hungry and he'll be growing more muscle than sister Lilly!  Lilly has aversions anyway, and doesn't eat well.  This boy is a whole new ball game.

Most recently he's discovered the freezer drawer which is at the bottom of their refrigerator.  This short little 2 y.o., pulls open the drawer using both hands and his body as weight.  Then he digs down into a box to pull out a popsicle.  Self-feeding.  Survival instincts.

His dad says, "Watch my electric bill go out the door."  His mom says, "He knows what he wants". 

The other day I got a live video on my cell phone.  It was of Jacob.  His dad recorded him 'cause Dad thinks it's priceless when hungry Jacob toddles up and says, "Iwanna nack."

WITCHES, TUBE TOP TRIO, GOAT SOAP? STOPPED IN MY TRACKS!

     

Stopped in my tracks!

Yep, I was stopped in my tracks on the tracks, at the Atlanta New Earth Festival, sitting on a rail, all shiny from years of locomotion, purchases settled around me in the gravel when I overheard some people talking.   My purchases were few but awkward.  The green ivy sided crockpot was a dream come true 'cause the pot was removable.  The seller said it was brand new.  Nice.  It's my favorite kind for easy washing and fridge transfer.  Another purchase was a bound mess of steel stakes with heads of blue & white snow flakes.  They'll be fun for the grandkids this winter, and they were a steal, too. 

Like I said, purchases were few but awkward.  I was supposed to meet hubby here.  So I'm sitting on the city railroad tracks.

Anyway, I'm face to butt with a woman about my age who, I have to admit, was 4 feet away.  She had a small pastel green and yellow umbrella stroller parked next to her, when out of the crowd a couple spied her,  "Well, hello!  Hi, how are you?"  

"I haven't seen you in ages!  Where's the mister?"

"Oh, he's over there getting a drink, he'll be right back.  He'll be glad to see you ... and you!"  she said to the newcomer's hubby.

The newcomer looked at the stroller, then at the lady with questioning eyes.  The lady said, "This is Stefonn, I had him last night."

My ears perked up, my eyes got big, I started to laugh out loud but choked it back.  The whole thing was incongruous.  I so wanted to insert myself in this conversation.  Here she was walking the tracks at a festival of hoardes of peoples with an infant in a stroller, she was just under my age (I'm over 60) and she "had him last night"!!!!!!   Oh.  My.  Lands.  Seriously, she didn't just say that!

For someone who'd just given birth she sure was up and about and lively!

I told myself, "Keep listening, Pam.  There's gonna be more story here."  Sure enough, she was babysitting for her daughter but the lady and hubby weren't happy about the name.  Spell check on her phone kept changing Stefonn to Steven, LOL.

This little scene was in direct contrast to the scene we literally ran into about 20 minutes earlier.  Like a weavers needle when walking a popular festival you have to weave yourself in and out of the crowd, right?  Men pause in the middle while their wives shop the booth to the left.  To be avoided are families with 2 or more strollers, one kid hot and crying, the other looking too big to be strapped in with squished fat belly, with dangling legs and feet dragging the ground.  Threesomes mutually agree on one standing guard over a 2-wheeled shopping cart stuffed full.  Police in golf carts make way.  Someone drops a pink ice cream cone scoop and the guy strolling directly behind does the avoiding jump-back-step.  Those I understand, some of those have been me, but the next one was a puzzler.  

Four women.  Standing stock still.  In a circle facing each other.  Obviously buyers you can tell by their bags of goodies.   No one speaking.   No one imbibing festival foods.  No one looking around -- neither at the items for sale, nor at the peoples for a missing person, nor at each other.   Neither did they offer to step back out of the way for the forward motion of other shoppers. 

It was like a witches circle with out the ground markings.  Weird.  We had to circumvent.  

Just beyond The Witches was a black banner overhead draped across a canopy.  Running from one end to the other, it advertised, "Goat Soap".   GOAT SOAP?   I looked at hubby, "How on earth do you make goat soap?  There's nothing soapy about a wirey-haired old goat!"

Smiling hubby said,  "You have to give 'em a really good squeeze!"

With a chuckle and a grin I kept scanning.  They had black tie soap, goat soap lotions and body cream, and something called lip smack.  Well, I never.  I never want to lip smack a goat, for any reason, even if it does get you a bargain on goat soap!

Then there was the Tube Top Trio.  Short filled-out woman with her tall skinny man pushing a jogging stroller with an acquiescent little boy.  You know the kind of stroller I'm talking about, I'm sure, charcoal black with 3 wheels.  The front single wheel points in the direction the family's going.  For now the man's stopped at the post of  the display tent 'cause his woman suddenly quit walking, mesmerized by some clothing inside.  He's face to face with a persimmon colored tube top on a mannequin bust.  There's more in oranges and reds next to it on portable shelves and hangers.  She said, "Just a minute."  

He said, "Are you gonna buy a tube top."

Because she's thinking of other things she absentmindedly said, "Wha--at?"

He said, "Try one on." 

She says, "No, I was looking at something else."  Then when his words registered, "YOU CAN'T TRY TUBE TOPS ON HERE!"

Hubby and I just caught the tail end of this conversation as we were moving on, going with the flow. 

The tall skinny man said, "It might be fun" and he lowers his voice in a chuckle, "for me."

If there'd been dual silver tracks running through this street, I'd be stopped on 'em, I was laughing so hard.