Knock 'em Dead!

Applause, applause, applause!  

Here she comes, the female comedian we've paid money to see.  She's strutting out on stage all animated, heels and bling, flounces and frills, and she comes right up to the microphone.  We're clapping and clapping as she takes the mic from the stand and carries the stand off stage right.  Coming back center stage, she's grinning, and waving, and nodding hello, eyes all aglow -- we just know she's going to entertain us.  We're going to leave happy tonight.   We're just waiting for her first words.

Surprisingly, not at all feminine, but in a low guttural growl-like voice, she says, 

"Hi.  I'm Batman."

Laugher erupts!

As it's dying down, she looks around, particularly at the women, "That's how my husband, the Batman, greets me after running around all night, believe that? After running around all night and coming home in the early morning hours, he says, "Hi.  I'm Batman!"  Does yours?  Does yours say...and she lowers her voice again, 

"Hi.  I'm Batman."

Then she says, "I'm looking at this stud with his hands on his hips and flexing his pecs, and I chuckle.  He's so full of confidence on a victorious high.  Why, he vanquished the enemy last night, a Gotham City foe!"

She gazes at the audience with a chuckle, "You should hear what he's nicknamed them - Riddler!  Joker!  Penguin!" 

"Oh, My!  What's next, Catwoman?"

The crowd laughs.

She continues, with mic to lips,  "As I said, this morning he's feeling puffed up --  proud, and full of himself.  But I've got to do it. (she shakes her head in mild regret) I've just got to do it.  I look him dead in the eyes, after I step up on a footstool of course, then I look him dead in the eyes and give him the punch....."

 And thus began the show -- with uproarious laughter -- 'cause she said, 

"Hi. I'm RAID!  I knock 'em dead!"