Monday, July 12, 2021

More, Plus - John's Funny

They've been a blessing, the evergreen trees around every edge of our property.  They've served as a wind break, they make for pretty pictures in the snowy winter, and they are a haven for cardinals.

Every beautiful sunny morning the first rays of the sun come from the east through those now full-grown pine trees making patterned shadows on the green lawn. Did you know in the 80's John, before he was my Darling Hubby, got on his hands and knees and planted over 300 saplings of evergreen trees around the perimeter of these 4 acres????   In the mud!  Each one was only about 6 or 8 inches tall!  What an impressive undertaking!

Then the neighbor's moved in next door, built a log cabin, and tethered their goat.  He ate three!

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In early March (note the month is March) the birds were flitting here and there, and the daffodils were sprouting their joyous happy blooms.  I was on the phone talking to John when my eyes spied purple post-it notes in the shape of tulips.  

They were stuck all around the house.  Each one said “Hair Cut!”   Each was placed in a prominent place, eye level, such as on the front door, or on the computer monitor, or the microwave. 

Laughingly, still on the phone, I told John, “There’s 3 on the microwave. One says “Push here” with an arrow pointing to the “open door” button and on that button is one more tulip shaped post-it note saying “Hair Cut!”  I laughed, "I think the boy wants a hair cut!” 

With a grin in his voice John said, “Tell Ian we’ll give him a hair cut.” I twisted phone away from my mouth to raise my voice, “Ian. Dad says he’ll give you a hair cut. June first!” 

Ian looked at me, then started grabbing his pencil, “More tulips!”

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The other day I read an online article that said a good ice-breaker question is "What is your favorite deep sea creature?"  So I thought I'd try it out on John.  "Hey, honey, what's your favorite deep sea creature?"

He paused and then with some assertion said, "I don't have one.  And, I'm not diving down there to get one!"

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I don't remember the topic, I only remember the expression of emotional feelings.  I overheard John talking to a couple of our sons.

John was saying, "Stick together!  It's men against the women. We're gonna lose.  We men have to stick together."

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This is the story of the cop and the mother-in-law, sort of.

“A cop stopped me on the way to church.” John told me one Sunday afternoon.  I'd stayed home, sick in bed.  

I was shocked, “John Bays!  Why’d you get stopped by a cop?”  
 
“I was going 82," John said, “He pulled me over at the old Perry Davis Furniture store. And he said ‘What’s so important you have to go that fast?’ ”
 
I told him, “Officer, you wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”
 
The officer said, “I need a real good reason why you’re going 82 in a 55.”
 
“I’m trying to catch my mother-in-law.”
 
The officer told John, “You don’t lie to me that way.”
 
John says, “I told the officer, “No, sir. I'm not lying.” 
 
John explained more to the officer, “I saw her go by our property, headed north to church, and since she had Calvin with her and I knew Calvin needed the clean clothes I have with me, I thought I’d just catch up to her and pass them over.”
 
John proceeded to excuse himself, “Honest, Officer, you’d have to know my mother-in-law.”
 
The officer wasn‘t impressed, “THAT deserves a ticket!” 



 
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