FOOD FOOLED, "NOT THE MINI'S!"

Ever been food fooled?  

Sure you have!

You ask the waitress for a Pepsi, and she sets the glass in front of you, full of caramel colored iced liquid, you bring it to your lips, your nose sends out an "Alert!" "Warning!" the instant before that awful moment when taste buds meet...iced tea!  "Phfffttt!"

Chuckle!

A whole group of us were food fooled at a large family reunion a few years back.  The granddaughter of the president and her husband watched carefully, bumped shoulders, and gave each other knowing giggling looks as we ladled the sweet smelling sauce covered ground meat onto our opened-faced buns.  The barbecue ground beef was teasing our senses as we added baked beans, potato salad, and Fritoes to our plates.  Ut oh, it wasn't ground beef.  The couple took great glee in later confessing to all that they'd served up venison.

Even so, it was tasty.

Darling Hubby food fooled me the other day.  Since he's begun to watch his sodium intake he's scoped out the best potato chip for us.  It's Wal-Mart's Great Value brand of low-sodium potato chip in the blue bag.  He buys 3 bagfuls, one for him, one for me, and one for the next week.  Ah, we sit down to watch an episode of Midsomer Murder, I grab the bag, tug it open at the seam, reach in, grab a chip that's a bit poofy, my favorite, and pop it into my mouth.  Gag!  Cough!  Spew!  Spit!  I jumped up out of my seat.  He'd accidentally purchased Salt & Vinegar!

Both were blue.  It was murder.

I was never so disappointed, though, when on vacation I opened a box of banana flavored moon pies.  I sat in the back seat of the truck, flipped the flaps, pulled out the cellophane package, anticipation of the sweet and fruity riding high when ...

They laughed at me.  My companions dared to laugh at me!  "Can't you read?  It says it right on the box!"

Oh boy, no, I didn't read.  I just assumed there would be 4 in the box.  It was appropriately that sized.

I was so upset.

I shared those traitors! My craving still unsated!  Why?  Because they were bite size, they were minis!!!

NO SNACK BITE MOON PIE FOR ME !!!!!!

I'm a full-sized gal.  I want a full moon!  

Alayna - The Drama Queen and Her Spider

January 2020

Little Alaynah, 2 y.o. found a Ty baby at the second hand store.  She thought was a spider.  Actually, it was a Scorpion named Stinger, but we didn't tell her.  She and her brother would engage in chasing, trying to sting each other.  On her knees she grabbed this stuffed toy by it's body and wiggled it left-right, left-right, crawling towards her daddy Rusty, 

"Spider, spider, spider...get Daddy!"  She  jumped up from the floor to his waist to "get Daddy".  Boy, does he beam!  He loves her calling him Daddy.  They got her at 3 months old so, it's the only male parent she's ever known.

When we got to the cashier, who stood in a cubicle that sits high off the ground, Alayna, who is only knee high to me, gave a heave and flung that "spider" up and on top of the counter with me standing right there.  Wow!  Such dramatic action!  I had to pay for it, right?!   Right!

June 2020

Kids played "lets see if we can get in the pond without mom looking", LOL.  The pond is a water feature only about a foot deep and 5 feet long.  To distract them, I gave them toy pots 'n pans, instead.  

They swung, and rode tricycles and generally made a toy mess of house and yard.  Good stuff.  Mom's have learned to have them clean up before they go which is a terrible transition period for kids...mom's assert, they buck, mom's assert, they cry, they pick up toys, they say "I don't wanna go home", they get their shoes back on, dad's bark echoes mom's, they all troop with droops to their vehicles after giving pa-paw and GrammyPam hugs and kisses.  By the time they get home, they're all happy again, chuckle.

Normally, I'm called GrammyPam.  Sometimes Alayna calls me GrammyPam 'N John.  But this day, the drama queen Alayna, called me GrammyPammy!  I laughed.  

Don't think I can do it justice writing this, but to explain drama queen, she was in the backseat car seat looking out the window and spied the river going under the bridge we crossed.  Most kids would simply say, "I see the water."  But she, in a sing-song voice, with a higher pitch on "see" and a squeal with volume increase on water, says excitedly, "I see WA. TER!"  

Oh, the exuberant appreciation for simple things, ROFL

July 2020

I picked up Jayden to come home with me so he could play in the Roger Run, the fenced in area of the front yard, while I typed in my blog.  I have some peacemaking to do.  Because it really upset Alayna who from home skyped her dad while he was at work,  "GwammyPam and Jayden didn't take me!" 

"I'm Hungry," Said Jayden

Jayden was dropped off by his parents and 3 sisters to spend Saturday afternoon with me.

He's growing -- taller, more mature in thought, handier in speech.

Yay, I have a companion for the day!

Before going in the house where all the toys are, where distractions speak fun, I asked him if he'd help me pick up sticks.  Yes!  Anything, being with grandparents, anything, being separate from family, anything, doing something different.  We've all been there, we all know how that temporary detachment feels - exciting, thrilling.  We picked up a bucket full of sticks.

"I'm hungry," he states as he pokes one longish twig into the wide mouth of a green 5 gallon pickle bucket.

"How about a waffle?"

Afterwards, I'm thinking he's not very muscular, maybe I can encourage some growth, "Would you help me bring in some groceries?"  Yes!  He carried the toilet paper (I chose something lightweight to see how adept he was at carrying a load) and wanted more, so I plopped the paper towels on top.  They slid to one side, he did a little shifting hop and got them to stay up there.  They regained alignment and off he went to the red front door.

"I'm hungry," he said after several same-alike trips.

"Want a corndog?"

Knowing that John, my darling hubby, would be gone for a long time taking kids on a field trip, and that he'd arrive tired, I checked to see if Jayden would like to be a substitute, taking that walk with me.  We did.  Just passed the mailbox, him with a jaunty bouncing gait, and swinging his arms like a dancer, and me walking normal, he claims he's already tired.  I checked his lips and face and decided he was probably just saying that because he had other things in mind.  We made the little hike just fine.

"I'm hungry," he said marching straight into the house aiming for the kitchen.

"Would some cheese sticks do?"

He ate all.  Then he discovered the blue and white basketball.  He could see it outside near the evergreen tree.  With permission, out he went.  And he dribbled.  I mean that boy could dribble!  He even dribbled it between his legs like a Harlem Globetrotter.  Shew!  That took dexterity, determination, and energy.

"I'm hungry," he said coming back in for a rest.

"You want to make brownies?"

We made brownies.  To make them special we dropped in some chopped walnuts.  To make them even more special we dropped in some chocolate morsels.  Then we waited.  

Well, I waited.  He licked the beaters.  He also licked the spatula.  And, he licked the bowl.  That boy kept on licking the whole 24 minutes the brownies baked!

We shared some brownies.  Then we took a few to the neighbors.  

"Oh, these are still warm!" exclaimed the happy eaters. We stayed and petted their large dog, and explored their barn and walked around checking out other stuff, too.

Finally, we walked back to the house, where his parents had just arrived to pick him up.  I told them he'd had a busy day -- poking sticks into holes, carrying bags of fruit into the house, walking the road's white line like a balance beam, and bouncing a ball on the deck.  Jayden was listening.  He completed the cycle.

"I'm hungry."  

Grapes Were Involved In Problem Solving

Grapes were involved when I first noticed the great way toddlers solve problems.

Their ingenuity shows their personality, right?

Looking at the left photo of Alayna stepping on a footstool to reach the faucet, was it for cleansing?  for sipping?  for play?  

Don't know.  But little sister Noelle is there to assist, "I help."

You might be too young, or you might be my age, to remember that little girl's voice in the Shake 'n Bake commercial.  With a southern twang it rings in your ears, "And I helped." 

When Ian, our youngest, was a little thing, he'd barely learned to walk, watched a ball roll under a child's chair, he didn't lay on the floor to reach under to get the ball, nope.  He picked up the chair then reached down to get the ball!  Problem solved.  His way.

Back to the grapes.  When Calvin, our third born, was a little thing, he'd barely learned to walk, he wanted some grapes.  He must've opened the refrigerator door by himself because he was in the kitchen all alone, and he was standing IN the refrigerator -- eating grapes.  He wasn't plucking like people usually do, he was sucking each one off the vine!

Now, our grandson Jacob is a little thing, barely learned to climb.  He pushed a chair up to the cabinet top, climbed up, and got the grapes.  So? you wonder.  He didn't pluck them off, he didn't suck them off, he shook them off.  He fisted the whole cluster and sh-shhook!

    

Believe it or not, it works.  Admittedly, they go everywhere.  They roll to the backboard, they roll to the fruit bowl, they spill to the chair and onto the floor, but by golly, he retrieves them and eats them!  It works.

I'm watching.  There's more to come.  Ainsley, the baby, is still crying for mama.  But one day soon, she'll want some grapes.  Maybe she'll be the princess, just point, and one of us will jump.

Problem solved.

Her way.

Shake 'n Bake commercial:   

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bB7j3sUWohE

If You Wait On Your Tea To Boil

If you wait on your tea to boil 
you might catch a glimpse of an overlooked dirty towel and take it to the laundry room.
In the laundry room you might think "may as well" and transfer clothes from washer to dryer.
But, in the dryer lies a blanket.  As you pull it out, out comes 3 dryer balls.  One bounces under the footstool, one rolls under the nearby hamper, and one hugs the side of the trash can.  

Not to be distracted by balls you take the blanket to the guest bedroom 

where you'll remove the resentful black cat to make the bed before wandering back down the hall.
Wandering makes you think of how quiet it is
so you go play a couple songs on the piano -- Three Blind Mice for the cat, and On Top of Spaghetti thinking of the roll-away balls.
But when you push away from the piano bench,
you have to head straight to the bathroom where you straighten a few things and refill the soap dispenser whose nozzle was twisted backwards by grandkids' hands.
Washing your hands, running the water, reminds you that you're thirsty and your tea is waiting.
By now the tea is so cold you set it in the microwave for a shot of heat.
While you're waiting on the beep you think about how the crockpot in the dishwasher could be reassembled and tucked into the cabinet.
When you go to the cabinet you spy Frisky Kitty food and as you're spooning it out your own tummy tells you that you forgot to eat breakfast.
So, you set about making breakfast.  

When you sit down to eat your breakfast, you reach to take a drink and your hand touches nothing!  You remember that you've been waiting on your tea this whole time.  

Since it's been awhile and you're really very thirsty, you decide not to boil it again, but drink it as is, even if it is tepid and lukewarm -- not fit for dipping scone, dipping cookie, or skinny dipping! 

 

 

Walgreens Knows Me, Blame The Photos!

I spent my life at Walgreens!  They know me!  It was the photos.  

And the fact that I kept returning.  

Here's a caution, don't photo procrastinate.

What's that saying?  "Start at the beginning."  Well...

At the beginning of that Friday, Darling Hubby, a school bus driver, had a 2 hr. delay so we left at the same time. I knew Walgreens opened at 8.  With my notes, phone, and money I went there to download pictures from cellphone to kiosk.  I'd print off a few.  Then, I'd be back by 11 to prepare him lunch. Pshaw!

I misjudged. 

There were pictures on that cellphone from 2017!!!!   Over 5 years worth!!!

3 kiosks, 2 lady helpers, a manager, new cords, and a phone call to son Ian later, and finally I found a 3-way combo solution ... switch cords, switch kiosks, reset my phone.  "TA - DA" downloaded.   2 hours later!  One thousand three hundred nighty six pictures!!!!!!!!  Would you like to see that visually in numbers?  1,396!

I've since learned that isn't as bad as a friend who has 2,500 and a cousin who has 4,000.  Don't go there.  To me this was a mountain I wasn't up to moving.  My back was already getting a crick in it!

You know, when you're flipping through your phone, it doesn't seem like that many.  

I reduced my selections to 704.  Hey, that's almost half!  That made me feel good.  My back didn't though, it was complaining something fierce.

The kiosk displayed a 45 minute wait.  

Helpful Manager all decked out in black, fine-boned, short, young thing, wringing her hands said, "Longer than that."  I didn't believe her.  I believed the kiosk, silly me.

Time to kill.  I went to Walmart bought necessities.  Walmart's self-help machine couldn't accept my big bill.  Who knew.  I should've knew.  I should've known it was a harbinger of what was to come.

Back to Walgreens.  

Cringing.  Why?  'Cause the first thing I saw was two employees changing printer fluids.  "Only 385 pics done", they said.  I stepped forward staring at the dropping out photos making sure the skin tones were appropriate.  They looked at me like, "What's she doing?"

So, I shopped their clearance, fuzzy socks for the daughter-in-laws at $1, yay!  Price checked other potential purchases but they're a couple dollars higher on everything.  

Back to photo counter, "It'll be a while, yet," said the older, gray haired woman. 

I stepped through their swinging gates, just a foot beyond, and squinted at the machine's counter.  Yep, it'll be awhile.

So, I got the truck washed, got an iced tea from Panera Bread, and answered a text from daughter-in-law, "Can you baby sit at 4?"  

"Sure, it's only noon."

Hungry, I opened the bag of chips next to me, divying out the appropriate amount 'cause I'm trying to loose weight.  But still hungry I go back inside and purchased a single serving size packet of peanuts.  That's a healthy solution when all you see is Easter candy!

Back to photos.  The cashier's line of customers was backed up so I shopped Easter cards.  Do you know you can't find a religious Easter card at Walgreens??  

Line dwindled. 

I went back to the photo lady,  "We're sorry we've ran out of paper."  Are you kidding me?

Employee called her manager.  Manger came wringing her hands, "The supply truck doesn't come until tomorrow."

"Well, I've come a long way and don't want to have to spend the gas to leave and come back."  This was my way of saying, "Can't you dig deep and find another solution."  I had seen them trying to switch machines, and knew they had other sizes of paper on hand.

She leaves.  She returns, "We've called around, the paper won't come AT LEAST for another hour.  I'm so sorry."  

New employee clocks in.  This one squints at the machine counter 'cause she's nearsighted.  So I step in, right up to the machine.  By now, they're used to my presence and my being in forbidden space and have quit giving me "looks".

At only 150 left, after paying my left leg for the whole shebang, I had to leave to babysit.  It was 3 o'clock.  Just in case anything else crazy happened, I took what was printed, home.

Well, toddlers came too soon.  I only had an hour to myself.  Then I and the kids pretended "Who ate my ice cream?" and played "I want what sissy has" add in "We're hungry.  What have you got?"  and "Here's ALL the balls!"  Throw, toss, boing, bounce!  times 6!  

Their Mom and Dad were all excited about their evening of test driving trucks.  We quizzed, "Did they negotiate?"  We oohed and ahhed, "Such low miles", and "Good, you'll appreciate that back up feature for an 8 foot bed."  And they finally noticed, "Is it that late!?"                          

I slept good!  Next morning, "Is the sun up yet?"  Walgreens is calling.

They'd better be! 

"And since I've been a long-time customer, wink-wink, can we negotiate -- I'd like my leg back."

HIDE AND SINK, MEAN GRANDMA

Back in December Rusty brought over his 3 oldest kids for me to babysit while he fixed a hitch on their Dodge Ram to be able pull their camper south.  Well, the kids were in fine form, Jayden 6, Alayna 4, and Noelle 2, all excited to be at GrammyPam's.  Fed 'em.  Let 'em watch an animated cartoon.  Then they got restless and wanted to play.

My parents used to call it the heebie jeebies.  We called it "chase games".  

So, we played hide and sink.  Yes, you read that correctly, they don't know it as hide and seek, they call it hide and sink.  

Well, they're very wise about that game.  After about 3 times of them hiding, while I count, then they count, I hide, and I count and they hide again, I decided to pull one on Jayden.  I got up on the bathroom sink vanity, in the dark, and when he opened the door, he looked all around even behind the door.  While his back was to me, I quietly, ever so snake like, reached out and tickled the nape of his neck.  Holy cannoli, jeepers creepers, he jumped a mile and squealed at the same time!!!!!

That's when I became Mean Grandma.  And all evening, Hide and Sink was called Mean Grandma!  They couldn't get enough! 

Fast forward three months to February, the 2 oldest are here again and they're begging, I mean just a'begging, "Can we play Mean Grandma?"  Well, how was I to live up to the last time?  This time would take some thinking.

Off they went.  I counted to 10 because they're fast, you know.  Alayna and Jayden hid together in the same spot between the couch and credenza, but little 2 y.o. Noelle went behind the living room lace curtain, not only could I see her through the lace but her feet were showing!  The little innocent toddler, she thought she was hid!"

My turn to hide.  I stood up on the edge of the tub behind the bathroom door intending to reach out and grab an ear.  Foiled!  Jayden says, "I saw you through the crack.  You're a good hider."

So, off I went for the second round of being the seeker.  I opened the door to the kids' room, and in my beseeching voice said, "Are they in here?"  

Alayna, snitching on little brother while bouncing on her toes, says,  "He not 'hind the door."

Right.  That's not giving him away.  Chuckle.  Yes he was behind the door!  

Noelle, still not old enough to fully comprehend the game, and so excited she couldn't stand it, says, "No, we in here!"  And she giggles and squirms and comes out from under the twin bed and runs like the dickens right by me, as if I couldn't just reach down and scoop her up!.

Final round, my turn to hide.  I get under the pile of covers on another twin bed where they'd been playing and had made a mess so, my being under there would go unnoticed.  As they trailed each other in, all a'jitter, and slightly touching each other for reassurance, I reached out one hand and grabbed an arm!

Oh, my lands!  It was pandemonium!  Yelps, and squeeks, squeals, and giggles, fast shuffling feet, and run, run, run!  They got all the way down the hall and into the family room before you could say, Jack Splat!

I think I may have foiled myself again, though.

It's their insistence.  They absolutely want another round of Mean Grandma.