"HONEY, I MIGHT BE ON THE NEWS!"

"Ri-i-i-ing!"  

Me: Hello?

John:  Honey, I might be on the news.  I'm okay, don't worry, and none of the kids are hurt.  

Me:  What are you talking about?!

John:  Just so you know, in case a helicopter starts flying overhead, I got rear ended.  No one was hurt, except one of Brad's kids that hit her head but the school nurse has checked her out and she's okay.  I'll be late.  Bye.

Me:  Wait a minute...wait a minute...!  Brad's kid?  How'd two buses get rear ended at once?

John:  I haven't got time to explain.  Later.

I called Ian:  Dad was rear-ended.  He says he might be on the news.  Can you just imagine your dad being interviewed by a reporter?

"Hello, everyone, this is your action news reporter
With all the news that is news
On the scene at the [middle school]
There seems to have been a disturbance [of the buses] here"

Pardon me, sir, did you see what happened?

And your Dad would say something goofy like, "Well, what happened was, I was sitting there minding my own business..." 

Ian:  That's funny.  He'll probably take it seriously, though.  He'll want to protect the school's reputation.

John arrives home:   Brad was driving the bus behind me, got distracted by a kid, I had to hit the brakes 'cause of the gal maneuvering her bus in front of me, so Brad hit me.  School Superintendent had me & Brad get in his car with the transportation director, and, the assistant.

Me:  Why?

John:  The School Superintendent looked us in the eyes and asked, "Was you guys using drugs?"

I told him "If I was and my wife finds out she'll kill me.  And my sons would never forgive me 'cause I was hard on them about taking drugs or drinking as teenagers."

Being rear-ended made the bus buzzer go off, and then the school's sheriff's tempers went off and then they locked both buses in the bus barn 'cause they don't want anybody taking pictures. 

Pamela:  Where'd the boss take you?

John:  They took me for a drug test!  They didn't care for it when I told them I'd been practicing for this. 

(Here he gave me a wink and a cheesy grin.)

Ian told Clint, Clint texted John:  ConCRASHulations, DAD!!  You're the next wrecker!!!  Claim your prize at the rear of the bus!

John:  Can't.  It's been crushed.