On The Hunt For A Big Bird

We walked in
She walked out and
He walked in.

We walked in, on the hunt for a big bird.
She walked out, arms laden with vintage dresses.
He walked in, straight to the bar stool to catch his breath.

We walked in not hunting a pet or a pigeon, LOL, but for Big Bird ... and Grover, and Elmo, and Oscar the Grouch to fill a Sesame Street play set. The antique consignment shop was full of treasures - collectibles, memories, and set completions!

There to woo the eye was reflective crystal dishes for women, and under glass pocket knives for men.  To tease the kids, (or the inner child, LOL) one corner was chock full of old-fashioned candy like Nik-L-Nip wax bottles, rock candy sticks, and Goo Goos.

She walked out, a customer, her arms laden with vintage dresses, all fluffy and bouffant with tulle crinolines.  But when she squealed, "Oh, let me look!  Just a minute!" she made her partner stop in his tracks 'cause she'd spied a big bold sign "50% off"!

He walked in.  "Hi, Tim!  How you feeling?"   "I'm sick," he replied.  When I eyed him warily, he soothed with a smile, "I'm not contagious, seriously, I"m not."

We browsed, checking out old clock radios, caressing angel figurines in sweet nostalgia, and wondering at old games...Puss In The Corner, or Uncle Wiggly.  One adjunct room was library-like with LP's, CD's, encyclopedias and books.  Slid under the bottom shelf was a box of musty, maybe moldy, books.  I pulled one, Motherhood The Second Oldest Profession, thinking it was probably touting tips and advice for raising kids.  That is, until I read the author's name, Erma Bombeck.

Oh, this was bound to be good!  My favorite quick quip writer of At Wits End in the newspaper back in the '80's.  She was clean, she was earthy, she was relatable, she was funny!

So, I flipped through and read an except to dear hubby.  Afterwards, I was vindicated.   Aloud, I read:

"The minute they heard Gloria's car in the driveway, Treva and her husband swing into action with all the precision and efficiency of the Lippizan cavalry."

"Treva whipped the planter off the coffee table and put it in the hall closet, locked the bathroom door, shoved a bowl of candy under the lounge chair, put the dog in the utility room, and took the knob off the TV set and dropped it in her pocket."

"Her husband Mel covered the sofa with plastic, put his bowling trophy on top of the refrigerator, blocked the entrance to the basement with a kitchen chair, put the toaster cover over the phone, and closed the lid on the piano to cover the keys."

"Then both put toothpicks in their mouths to announce they had just eaten.  They broke their own record -- one minute, thirty-six seconds."

"Ah, ha!"  I told hubby, "I'm vindicated.  The boys claim I'm odd.  They snicker at my antics, don't they?  But, here I am in black and white, right off the pages of an old book, but alive in the mind of Erma."  "Oh, she's STILL my favorite author!"

Then the blush.  It rose from the bottom of my neck, covered the ears, boiled my cheeks, and reddened the temples.

She had walked out, but then had returned.
He had stayed put, still bar stool seated.

And we walked in...
we walked right into their circle of laughter.

Oh my, I'd had an audience!