Thanksgiving's Black Friday finds me listening in on the men's conversations as they install a new dishwasher. The youngest is Ian, the middle one is Spencer, the older is Calvin, and then there's their dad, John, their playful prince; rather than being group leader he prefers to join in on the laughter -- to be one of the boys.
Spencer: Where's the drill?
Ian: You have to master manuel tools before we give you power tools!
Spencer to Calvin: Did mom send you in here?
Calvin: I'm here for moral support.
Calvin: Are you supposed to remove that?
Ian: Yes, Calvin, it says, "Remove before use."
Ian: Calvin, you're gonna lean the dishwasher back.
Calvin: I'm busy (and he yawns and looks away).
Spencer to Calvin: We have to have the dishwasher over there.
Ian: Up, dude!
Calvin: I asked for power tools to begin with, you gotta work smarter not harder.
(As he pretends to sit) I have a chair right here.
Dad: It says installation bracket. Here's the packet with screws.
Spencer: They're talking about these tabs, right, Dad?
Ian: We NEVER put screws in a dishwasher!
Spencer: Just ignore it.
Ian: He's a grown man, he's an adult, he can do this.
Spencer: We have to tighten this.
Dad: If it doesn't leak, we can go with it.
Dad: Sit it down, Calvin.
Ian: Gently. Please.
Calvin: Can you not do that?
Ian: Let's get the thing in here, come on, guys, let's just do it. It's just sitting here.
Calvin: Don't move!!!
Spencer: Coming down! It's coming your way!
Dad: Guide it.
Spencer: Okay, Calvin,
Calvin: Over top it, around it, where's this go?
Calvin: Dad, are we going to set this dishwasher on top of this wire?
Dad: No.
Spencer: There's a channel, we're good to go!
Dad: Set it down.
Spencer: No, don't set it down! Lean it toward Ian!
Calvin: Yes, lean it toward Ian.
Spencer: Now, gently come down, gently come down.
Dad: Push it in.
Spencer: Nice and easy.
(Note: Originally I wanted white to match the rest of the kitchen, but settled on stainless steel since it was such a good deal. And, I'd told the boys that stainless steel shows fingerprints, another reason I was in the market for white. Of course, they had to tease me about my relenting.)
Calvin: Look at this nice and shiny steel.
Ian: The more you talk the more you stir things up, just keep quiet.
Spencer: She chose it.
Calvin: Yah, but she really wanted white.
Ian: Shush, keep it down.
Ian to Spencer: You can do it, you're an electrician, that got fired, but you can do it.
Ian: I put mine through the channels so you can just ignore my wires.
Dad: Also, it says ........
Calvin: Look Dad, I found it!
Ian: What?
Calvin: A level ! (and he begins singing) "I put one foot in front of the other."
Ian: I gotta connect that drain thing, Calvin give me a screwdriver!
(Presently my new-fangled, LED lit, smart Wi-Fi dishwasher will be usable.
Well, it'll be usable in a minute or two, gotta check for stains first, blood stains!)
Dad: Let's close the door.
Calvin: I tried but Spencer won't let me.
Spencer: OW! DON'T CLOSE THE DOOR! My fingers are in there!
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