Indian or Pilgrim, Let's Talk Turkey

"Let's talk turkey!"  I gotta say there must've been a mean streak floating around that first Thanksgiving dinner table.

Just think of it, we have the turkey bird, and I mean those things are squawkers!  But you catch him,  you de-feather him, you boil him, and from the butt up to the gut, you shove spiced bread.  Who thought of that !  Who thought of that -- cooked bread coming out the head?

I tell ya, Indian or pilgrim, one of them was feeling threatened 'cause it doesn't stop there.

You've got your mashed taters.  That's some energized force to mash a mess o' taters, especially enough to feed  20 axe wielding turkey dressers.

Then there's the deviled eggs.  How do you devil an egg anyway?  "Let's get that witch doctor to summon the underworld, these eggs need deviled!"

Keep the witch doctor, with his dance and chants maybe he can get them green leaves to cabbage roll!

"Hi ho! And while we're at it, let's roast a gourd!"  Did you hear the one about the gourd?  They say it's empty-headed.   And....the orange pumpkin said to the green gourd, "You look sick!"  And don't forget...when a gourd gets dropped, he becomes a squash!  Ba-da-boom, ba-da-bing!  Roasted!

While the fire's hot, toss in the corn, will ya?  We don't need those squash eaters to eat too much. They might get all fired up!   Whoa, look at that!  "Pop.  Pop-pop.  Pop-pop-pop...pop-pop-pop!  POPCORN!

And eggnog!  Think about those two words.  Egg.  Nog.  I mean a mean streak was still brewing on that one, "I'd like to egg his noggin!'

Ain't got a turkey?  Get a goose.  Chase that thing down and give it a pinch on the rump,  Christmas goose!

Ta-da!  Next.  To the next holiday, belly-up!